Spotlight on fathers' rights

LOBBYING: Debbie Paton and Paul Harris say fathers come off worse in custody disputes.PHOTO/ BEVAN CONLEY

The family court system can be unfair to good fathers who want to be part of their children's lives, Paul Harris says.

He leads the Wanganui branch of New Zealand Brotherhood of Fathers and was out raising awareness in the city for the first time yesterday. They held placards outside the Whanganui Courthouse.

He and his ex-wife have two sons and share custody 50:50. But he said other men were not so lucky.

They were prevented from seeing their children by false allegations of abuse and unenforced court orders. If they were unable to see their children, their child support payments went up.

Mr Harris is passionate about the cause of fathers. Though not affected as a father himself, he said he could be in future, as a grandfather.

"I have two sons. If they both marry, one will end in divorce. If they can't see their children, I'm unable to see my grandchildren."

He has friends and colleagues in struggles over child custody matters.

"One would be too many, but there are more than that. I will not give a number. There are outstanding people who will jump through the hoops of the court system to see their children.

The New Zealand Brotherhood of Fathers is under the umbrella of the Australian brotherhood. The organisation is also in Canada, the United States and Europe. It is self-funded and has a campaign to end all domestic violence, including violence of women against men.

Mr Harris said one in three victims of domestic violence was male.

Jigsaw Whanganui executive officer Tim Metcalfe said there was another side to that story.

His organisation works with more than 800 troubled families in a year and he said many men and women felt aggrieved and misunderstood by the family court system.

But he said the "men's rights movement" had not helped the situation. It had undermined huge gains made in the way police and courts responded to family violence.

It was true that women were sometimes violent to men. But, he said, he had encountered many women who live in fear for the safety of themselves and their children 24/7.

"Men may feel aggrieved and battered, but it's very rare to find ones that have to plan 24/7 for their own safety."

Men pushing for rights to see their children were thinking of themselves, and not of their children's rights to safety, emotional safety and wellbeing.

"The best way a dad can (provide) that is being highly respectful of their children's mum."