I was so overwhelmed I completely forgot to offer my services as a "pig bucket".
I begrudgingly decided to share them with the life forms and the withered old crone, but I did have some alone time with them prior to consumption - just a few minutes taking in their beauty and savouring their sweet seductive smell. Then with electric cattle prod at the ready to control the life forms and a defibrillator on standby should the cholesterol prove too much for my heart, I sat down and lived my dream.
OMG, OMG, OMG ... they were delicious beyond belief. You just have to try them. Cheryl told me Savage's had been making them for a few weeks and were stocking them in all three of their shops where they were selling well. I'm not surprised. They are about as scrummy as scrummy can get.
It's a shame we can't vote one in to the mayoral position as they have all the necessary attributes - well rounded, locally produced, won't require a salary, pleasing on the eye but full of depth and complexity inside, and a well-positioned hole for transparency. Plus, we don't have to listen to any bull - we get the fresh face everyone has been wanting but, above all, they are a real crowd pleaser. Out with the cronies and in with the Cronuts, I say. Let's face it, they couldn't do a worse job.
Maybe we should have a referendum on the issue, but before that we had better have a referendum on whether we should have a referendum, and when we have completely ignored the results of those referenda we should hold another referendum on the effectiveness of referenda.
But before any of that we will need five memoranda of understanding, four public pickets, three costly inquiries, two humongous hui and a partridge in a pear tree. But what do I know, I'm still on a sugar high ... maybe we should simply ban sugar, too?
My point is, there are so few pleasures left in life. Next the food truck guy will try to kill Cronuts, too, with a healthy version.
Surely we are all allowed to indulge sometimes. While legal synthetic cannabis has its risks, the fact remains tens of thousands have used it without incident - it all comes down to moderation and responsible use. If you outlawed everything that killed us there'd be nothing left on the shelves. Let's keep things in perspective.
Grab a Cronut and rediscover your "happy place" ... even if it's just for a few minutes. Big thanks for all your emails and birthday wishes and, of course, your feedback - keep it coming to investik8@gmail.com
