Shelley Loader: What Whanganui people love about their community

Residents love Whanganui's outdoor spaces, Shelley Loader discovered.

OPINION

Shelley Loader is the manager of Community House Whanganui.

Last week I invited people to share something positive about our community.

I stipulated a rule – if anyone commented anything negative, we should ignore it and not give it air.

I felt emotional reading the heartfelt comments. What stood out was how connected we are as a community, and our sense of pride in the things that make our community unique.

Our amazing indoor and outdoor spaces, the way in which we show respect to funeral processions, our friendliness and willingness to lend a hand, the way we make eye contact, smile and greet strangers, and the opportunities we create as a community to connect with each other and our environment.

There were no negative comments. Just one regarding free speech and how both positive and negative perspectives are important in response to the rule I set.

I don’t disagree. I support free speech and believe all our perspectives are valid. There is no right or wrong, we just experience the world differently.

What I don’t support are deliberate and disrespectful comments intended to harm others, or pointless arguments on social media or otherwise.

There’s a difference between a healthy discussion and a pointless debate.

It centres around whether people are solution-orientated and able to appreciate a different perspective.

We all need to be accountable, mindful of how our words and behaviours affect others.

If we want someone to consider our perspective, we also need to be willing to consider theirs.

Working in the community sector, and in life, I come across many people who feel connected to our community and view the world as a good place.

When we set clear expectations and boundaries, they are generally respected.

Community House Whanganui manager Shelley Loader.

A positive perspective doesn’t minimise or invalidate a negative perspective, or vice versa. All our perspectives are valid based on our different experiences.

How is it that some of us experience the world in a positive way and feel so connected to our community, yet others do not?

Individual belief systems are formed through interactions between our upbringing, cultural background, personal experiences, education, social interactions, and exposure to different perspectives and information.

These influences shape our values, attitudes, and perceptions.

They lead us to develop certain beliefs about the world, ourselves, and others.

Over time, our beliefs may evolve and change in response to new information, self-reflection, and life experiences.

If we are more entrenched in our belief system, we tend to gather evidence to support our beliefs rather than have an open or growth mindset.

As individuals, we collectively build our society.

Mainstream belief systems are formed through a combination of societal norms, cultural values, historical context, media influence, educational systems, political ideologies, and collective experiences.

These shape the dominant beliefs and attitudes held by the majority.

Mainstream belief systems are often reinforced and perpetuated through social institutions, such as the media, government, religious organisations, and educational institutions.

These play a significant role in shaping public opinion and influencing societal values.

Mainstream belief systems evolve.

Within our lifetimes we have treated gender diverse people as deviants, shunned women for becoming pregnant outside of marriage, institutionalised and abused people for mental health and disability, and segregated people according to gender, ethnicity or religious beliefs.

But our attitudes have shifted as our awareness and understanding have increased. This is what growth looks like.

As we begin to collectively understand the different perspectives and experiences of others, we realise that blame serves no purpose and only perpetuates problems.

Problems don’t go away when we ignore them, they escalate.

There is a growing mainstream emphasis on inclusivity, diversity, and social justice, reflecting a broader recognition of the importance of addressing systemic inequalities and promoting a more equitable society.

This understanding allows us to address underlying issues and heal as a community.

Policy reflects this in terms of our response to historic wrongdoing such as abuse in care and Treaty settlements.

To avoid further harm, policy needs to be more responsive to changing mainstream belief systems in terms of public service parameters. A perfect example is chronic homelessness.

Will future generations be required to make a public apology for our failures to provide basic shelter and meaningful support now?

We must learn from past lessons because we don’t just inherit social problems, we also create them for the generations to come. Environmental sustainability, housing availability and homelessness are prime examples.

We spend billions of dollars a year on social service provision, but social problems are still increasing. It affects us all.

Mental health issues are rising, particularly amongst young and elderly people.

Substance abuse is rising, particularly in higher socioeconomic groups. Crime and incarceration rates are increasing, including violent crime.

Overcrowding and housing availability are becoming problematic. Child poverty is growing. The list goes on.

Yet the solution is free.

The sooner we collectively take individual personal responsibility and hold ourselves accountable for the ways in which we treat ourselves, each other, and our environment, the sooner we will see positive social change.