Scans will never show us all we want to know

Disabled children can bring so much love to a family. Photo/File

I am writing in response to Michael Laws' comments on Facebook about the need for testing for serious disabilities like Down syndrome.

While I take on board his views on the matter, I hope he takes on board mine.

We cannot simply scan for every possible outcome for a child. Scans don't pick up bad eyesight or deafness, nor depression disorders, autism and many other conditions.

Technology can only pick up some disabilities, such as Down syndrome and spina bifida. But be very careful - a scan cannot show you how exactly that will affect your child, and it will not show you your child's strengths or the happiness and love they can bring.

It may well show you some weaknesses - but that is not to say give up.

It only takes one person to change another person's life. Living with spina bifida myself, I have seen this in many ways.

I have recently been overseas and seen the way people with disabilities are treated there - I was very disheartened and I felt lucky to be a New Zealander.

However, I have been concerned with some Kiwi views of those with disabilities - whether it be claiming for a personal injury through ACC or simply being childish by name-calling and labelling us "retards".

Life is challenging for everyone, young or the old. It is no way perfect and a perfect world can only be a dream. Why try to fix something that isn't broken?

What we can do is strive to help one another, be kind and treat people the way we want to be treated.

When having my own child, I was told by an OB/gyno in Wellington that "People like you shouldn't be pregnant".

I lost faith in humanity that day, but my faith was restored by another OB/gyno in our own little town of Wanganui who said to me: "I can't see any reason why you can't have this baby". That changed my life forever.

My son, now 10 years old, is deaf in one ear - something which wasn't picked up in any scan; it wasn't picked up until he started school. Would I change him if I had the chance? No, I wouldn't - he has so much to give and has taught me so much.

There is a saying that children can be cruel. So can adults. I put this down to fear of the unknown. Some of us take that fear and try to learn more about what we fear, while others simply want to class it as "not normal".

As a nation, we may give second chances to those who commit crimes, yet we can be are very quick to judge unborn children on their bodies.

We can't scan for those who are going to do good or evil in this world. We have to take what we are given and everyone deserves a chance.

A young lady on the recent season of TV's New Zealand's Got Talent said: "People think you have to be tall to be beautiful, but I think you can be beautiful just the way you were made." Such a simple statement with a very strong message.

She, too, had a disability, but she has a great spirit and heart - so thank you, Oceana Olsen.

People with disabilities don't want your pity and don't want to be treated differently. They want to be treated fairly and respected like anyone else. Don't judge a book by its cover - read it before making your opinions.

And while doctors can make an educated guess on your child, sometimes those guesses can be wrong. They, too, are only human.

Christmas is a time to be thankful for what and who you have in your life. I am very grateful to everyone I have in mine.

Christie Teki-Reu is a former telemarketer, now a stay-at-home mother of one.