High schools can foster strong networks in life, writes Rob Rattenbury.
OPINION
We often read or hear comment from people who have joined an organisation or club or whatever and are frustrated with the old boys’ or girls’ network that does not seem to recognise them or accept them.
I’m sure it is frustrating to feel slightly left out; not accepted for any other reason than you did not grow up with those people or go to their schools.
They are old friends who know each other very well. Sometimes it is really intentional, a way of keeping a newcomer or a perceived upstart in their place. Most times, in my experience, it is incidental.
Before coming to Whanganui, I worked in a large city police station, in the same town as my college.
The station had old boys and girls from all the schools around, as would be expected. I must admit that when I met an old boy from my college I was, perhaps, more kindly disposed to him, even friendly.
We had teachers in common. We knew all the stories, the jokes, the traditions, even though we may be years apart in age. We shared a similar background in many ways.
As a supervisor, I usually had higher expectations of my fellow old boys and may have been slightly harder on them than others. Our school had expected certain standards from its boys, not unlike many other schools, I am sure. Hard work, honesty, loyalty, fairness, and compassion towards others were important.
I must happily admit that I was rarely disappointed.
I have, over the years, spoken to other guys I went to school with who ended up in positions of some authority or relevance in their chosen callings. We all agreed that our eyes lightened up a bit when a newbie arrived at work, having spent his formative years in the same school as us.
Thankfully we were usually rewarded with good workers who were also very good people.
Did we invoke the Old Boys’ Network? The old school tie. Probably subconsciously more than intentionally.
We still had heaps of other people from all backgrounds who were as good as or better than our fellows. We also knew that and recognised it. But yes, there was always a slight pride in seeing a younger person come into your work world after coming from another environment you had spent years in, learning similar values and ethos.
I believe it is a human thing to enjoy the company of others who you have either known for many years or have had the same background in building character as you.
I have seen old boys’ networks in action everywhere in my working life. An organisation like policing, which still recruits from a quite narrow band of demographics, had little networks that some felt excluded from.
Not only the school thing but also the membership of certain lodges, a member of a certain faith, a rugby-playing elite who always got time off to play, non-rugby types carrying the load on the shifts.
Different branches of the outfit only mixing with each other to the exclusion of most.
Again, most of it was unintentional. Was it hurtful? Well, only if you let it be. If you wanted to be included but were not. That comes down to an individual’s personality really. Many of those who wanted to be included but perceived they were being ignored sometimes had other difficulties as well.
Personally, it never bothered me. I guess it’s all about how confident you feel in your own skin. It usually all worked out in time and often when looking back, one is glad one did not gain admission to whatever one thought was important. It didn’t really matter in the scheme of things.
Of course those often-maligned networks exist. It is human nature. I am sure some very average people get a leg-up in life because of belonging to a certain group.
You see it in sport and politics especially.
With politics, those who perhaps have been put in place due to connections and who fail invariably do so very spectacularly and publicly, leaving us all to wonder: how the heck did that person become an MP?
You guessed it, influence, those school networks, family history and tradition, knowing the right kind of people, going to the right school.
My networks over the years have been important to me. It matters that people I have known for most of my life hold me and mine in some regard.
That may sound snobbish but think of your own networks, whatever they may be. I am sure you will agree that whatever you do in life or whatever interests you have, it is much more enjoyable with people who are like you. People with those interests and backgrounds. People who accept you.