Rob Rattenbury: Granddaughters have changed our lives

Rob Rattenbury's home becomes a bomb-site when his grandchildren visit. Photo / 123rf

OPINION

Life is funny most of the time in my experience.

We raised our kids in the 70s, 80s and 90s. They went out into the world to make their own lives and we just moved on as a couple of Dinks (double income no kids). Life became very different when our youngest left home to join the Army at 17.

Far too young but we, neither of us, could talk. We both left home at that age ourselves, Jen to go nursing and me to go policing.

It is hard to argue with a motivated and able young teenager who has his life all worked out already. Staying for that final year at school like his sister did before going to art school was never an option in his mind.

I understood. I could not wait to leave school either. I had no real problem with my school but I just got over it all. I wanted to strike out on my own, make a living, grow up.

It all worked out well in the end for the kids and both have grown into middle age with success in their lives. Our job is done as parents.

Now they come around and we enjoy a friendship that many have with their adult children. A closeness. They do get a bit worried about us at times but that’s nice. They also do the small silly jobs we can no longer do.

The other day daughter arrived and spent a couple of hours cleaning the insides of the high windows that we can no longer safely reach and the ceiling in the kitchen-dining area, covered in fly poop from spring, summer and autumn. I hate flies. They’ve gone now, the little Sebastians are hibernating I suppose.

What has changed our lives completely in recent years has been the arrival of granddaughters. We had actually let all that baby care stuff disappear into the back of our brains somewhere. Out it all came though. A reminder of how much our own babies meant to us.

Nappies have moved on though. No more cloth nappies with pins and plastic pants. No more washing line full of naps. So easy nowadays.

Toddlers grow and get more mobile, like the way they like to use poppa as a trampoline whilst removing his mobile phone to watch Bluey or some such on streaming. I had forgotten how sharp little elbows are and how toddlers like to flop on one like one is some sort of mattress.

They are supposed to have limited screen time but that disappears at our place. Our wee girls can pretty much do what they like. They do like to eat a lot but are certainly not overweight. I had forgotten that. Little and often. Fruit, crackers, yoghurt, drinks of milk.

Tears sometimes when “no, you are not having icecream, you’ve just had breakfast”. The drama of it all, soon forgotten though.

Miss six telling her little friend as they arrive in an Irishmen’s whisper “you have to be gentle, they are very old”. Mummy has obviously told her to not be too boisterous with the old folk.

They have spent their lives playing with their father’s and aunt’s toys that they had as toddlers and small children. Nothing gets thrown out from our child-rearing years, well certainly not toys and children’s books.

We still have our daughter’s bassinet. That old bassinet has been all around the country several times, the bed for all the cousins and even babies of friends. It has weathered well, one of those old cane models. Circa 1974. We are both the eldest children in our families, the first to have our parents’ grandchildren.

I suppose it will one day have a great grandchild or two resting in it.

I have heard a rumour that they are coming for lunch and I have to make them tomato soup with ciabatta and butter.

Some may say they are spoiled. Well, just a bit. We have waited so long for grandchildren that I think we can be excused. We do get the odd roll of the eyes from the parents but they know it’s only a visit, at most a sleepover, what can happen?

People seem to have children later in life now compared to our day. They have work, study and travel to get organised first I suppose whereas we just went to work, met, married and had kids usually all by our mid-twenties at the latest.

Just different generations and different societal pressures.

Anyway, this afternoon we will both be very tired, resting in our chairs enjoying the quietness once more. The place becomes a bomb-site while they visit, toys, books, crayons, pencils, paper everywhere but they do clean up after themselves when reminded by mum.