The speaker was introducing Metiria Turei. His words were: "Please welcome our female co-leader ..." The word female seemed to be used as an adjective as well as a noun and, apart from the fact it was totally unnecessary to include the word female to begin with, I also found it to be incredibly condescending.
I'm no feminist - bras are far too expensive to burn - but it came across like they were trying to make the point that they were so great to be open-minded enough to place a female in the top job. Considering that Ms Turei was not the first "female" co-leader of the party, pointing out the obvious just seemed tacky to me.
I'd like to think that we have moved on from the once-preconceived idea that to be a Greenie meant you were a hippie-styled, flip flop wearing, tree-hugging, bike-riding, protesting, bearded male or female, hell bent on saving the Earth at the cost of thousands of jobs and the economy.
The camera then panned out and there was Mojo Mathers sitting in the front row, her signer before her. After the co-leader's intro, I was almost expecting to see a giant illuminated finger above her head, highlighting the fact that she was deaf.
We get it. You don't discriminate - whether you be dreadlocked, hearing impaired, gay, ginger or, heaven forbid, a female, the Greens will accept you and your POD (point of distinction).
In fact PODs seem to be the in thing in politics right now. I recall during Gilmourgate hearing many a political commentator referring to his list replacement, Claudette Hauiti, as a person who "ticked all the boxes" because she was Maori, female and gay.
Is that really what it all comes down to? Do you get bonus points for being in a wheelchair? Extra consideration if you are planning to adopt? Even government appointments like that of Dame Susan seem to be dependent on her POD - being a sporting celeb.
I think they must score the whole thing like a game of Scrabble. Knowing now that she was second choice to Michael Jones, I can only speculate that being a Pacific Islander and an All Black were the areas where he out-scored the Dame. P and I gives you a score of 4, while P for Pakeha or C for Caucasian only get you 3; S for squash is a mere 1 but an AB is worth 4. Dare I use the Q word, or shall we just assume that they use H for homosexual or G for gay - worth 4 and 2, respectively.
I wonder, too, if they prefer S for straight or H for heterosexual.
If you are a budding politician, it would appear your chances of success are greatly increased with every POD. You could try pretending by posing as a faux-mosexual if you were desperate - we all know how lax they are at checking the details - but I wouldn't recommend it.
If my score theory proves to be correct, you may want to pay for a fake identity where you hail from a country beginning with Z, Q or J, claim to have the X factor in spades, and your hobbies include weightlifting, judo and knitting all the while battling bi-polar and being a hermaphrodite.
I have always regarded Parliament as a bit of a three-ring circus but I held on to the belief that, at its core, it was all about delivering effective policy to the people. These days it seems more like a popularity contest with all the makings of a tacky reality show - "Who will be New Zealand's next MP?"
Mind you, it might generate some much-needed funds with a well-thought-out paid voting system. I, for one, would love to be a judge on that show.
This straight, state-dependent female is off to change her dressings. Smile loudly, as always and feel free to share your views with me via investik8@gmail.com.
