Nicky Rennie: Teens with cloth ears ‘just doing their job’

Although your children may not listen to you, they will often take on board the same message from other parents, writes Nicky Rennie. Photo / 123rf

OPINION

My Facebook feed threw up something the other day that piqued my curiosity and was, in fact, rather timely.

It was a parenting guru explaining that, from the age of 13 until they are 24, your children think you are essentially so stupid that they will ignore you and not listen to anything you say.

This came as no surprise to me because, for quite some time now, I get looked at like I have two heads by my 18-year-old and nothing I do or say is right. The one surprising thing about this video was the expert said that, although your own children may think you are stupid, they will listen to other parents and take on board what they say, even if they are saying the same thing you have been.

This was timely because I finally caved and let my daughter have a smallish party before going out with her friends to cut shapes on the dancefloor or whatever they do until the sun comes up. Before I was condemned to my bedroom (because I am so uncool), I had a couple of conversations with a few of the guests and they actually looked at me like what I was saying made sense and even laughed at a couple of my mum jokes. They were probably just being polite but it made me feel slightly more validated.

The other reason it was timely was that a friend of my daughter’s, who was staying for the foreseeable future, was asked to go home – by me.

Fish and friends – three days, they say, before they both go off.

Six weeks with another guest in my little house nearly drove me to distraction. Being a fan of my own space, each time I arrived home I felt overwhelmed by it all.

In the end, I called her mother and said something had to be done because I couldn’t financially support her while she had no job. I didn’t mention the fact that she could sleep to rival Rip Van Winkle and that my shower plughole was so jammed with hair that it resembled a creature from the Black Lagoon emanating from it each time I took a shower.

Her mum was great about it and so was my daughter’s friend. She came and had a conversation with me and thanked me for having her. We had a conversation that I have been having with my daughter for quite a while now about the cost of living and how expensive it is to “adult”. It was an open, honest conversation and she actually listened while we talked about how she could get herself into a better financial position and prepare for flatting.

Crikey – two conversations with other teenagers and I felt a lot better about myself and that I actually made sense. I don’t blame my daughter for thinking I’m stupid or not listening to anything I say because now, thanks to that parenting guru, I know that she is just doing her job.