Nicky Rennie: On grandparents week - ‘Grammy’ synonymous with Minties and an ashtray

Whanganui Collegiate School had a grandparents and grand-friends day.

OPINION

I’d like to be able to say I had an amazing, special relationship with my grandparents, but it wouldn’t be true.

I never knew my grandfathers because both passed away early, and both my grandmothers lived in another island and passed away in my teenage years.

Visits were rare. Mum’s Mum (my Grammy) was synonymous with Minties and an ashtray that had a vertical handle that, when pushed down, spun her cigarette ash into a metal catchy thingy underneath.

My four siblings and I used to argue over who would be able to spin it when she visited. She and my Dad used to be fierce competitors at cards when she came to stay. I’m sure she must have cuddled me at some point but I have no memory of it.

My Dad’s Mum (our Nana) smelt of talcum powder, had lovely soft pink skin and was a fan of an Osti dress. She also introduced me to coffee mints. If she had a win at the races, she would put $5 in a card and send it to us.

She could murder a buffet single-handedly. Man, she loved her food. These are memories of a young person and I do wonder, if we lived closer to them, whether the Rennie kids may have benefited from their wisdom or the opportunity to learn about our parent’s foibles as they grew up.

To be able to quietly slip that into a conversation when we repeated a mistake they may have made would have been jolly handy.

I’m not envious of anyone who has a relationship with a grandparent. It truly is one of life’s gifts. We just didn’t have it and you don’t miss what you never had.

As someone who handles events for a living, I have felt privileged to be involved in an initiative by Whanganui Collegiate School (WCS) headmaster Wayne Brown.

He was adamant last year that he wanted his school to run a grandparents and “grand-friends” day. The latter was for students (like me) who didn’t have an actual living grandparent but had a special relationship with an older, wiser person.

There were a lot of naysayers who thought this sort of event was purely for primary schools, but Wayne was very clear and, as it turns out, very on the money. Eighty grandparents turned up last year which we thought was amazing.

The day was a beautiful Whanganui spring day and it was happiness on a stick. To call it a success was an understatement. Pure joy is the only way to describe it.

Pride from the students showing off their day-to-day life and most certainly pride and love from their grandparents and grand-friends who just wanted to let them know they were special and they were happy to be spending time with them.

Last week, the second grandparents and grand-friends day was held at WCS. Nobody dared expect it could have been better than the year prior but it was. There were 130 grandparents from all over the country and more than 80 students eager to give their “grandie” a big cuddle.

Trust me when I say nobody can break a surly teenager like a loving grandparent. No matter how cool the students try to be, the pure excitement of seeing their grandparents overrides everything and that connection permeates the whole afternoon.

It’s a joy to be part of. You watch as they share confidences. Grandparents quickly catch up on how they are tracking day-to-day, give advice and bask in seeing this person that they have known and loved since they were born.

All the Rennie grandies have a lovely relationship with my Mum and Dad. They have been there from the beginning being very involved in their lives and I, for one, am very grateful that our children know them as people and get spoiled by them.

Unfortunately, because Mum and Dad are still around they have had more than enough time to teach our children that their parents are indeed flawed.

But it’s worth it. Happy Grandparents Week Whanganui. Talcum powder, coffee mints and all.