Kristen Hamling: My time has come ...

Kristen Hamling Photo/File

Time is always my enemy ... I have so much to do and such little time to do it in.

Right now I am around about half way through my life and I am wondering how I can do all that I want to do by the time I die. I am not sure that this is a healthy consideration for a 42-year-old.

Mother Teresa once said: "Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin." I think it's time to begin.

I want to begin slow walks with my son chatting away about whatever springs up in his five-year-old old mind. I want to slowly read with my children at night, rather than hurrying everyone up so I can get back to work. I want to have quiet moments with my husband every now and then, and I want to be a good friend to those who need my friendship.

This year seems to have stripped me of time to enjoy these quiet moments with my family and friends. Trauma and grief have struck my husband's family in a cruel way; my very good friend is doing all she can to keep herself and her young girls safe and needs my support; my family have had their own crises; my PhD is always calling me; and my husband's body seems to have developed an allergic reaction to skiing - he's just broken his shoulder from a skiing injury and last year he tore his knee to shreds.

So I am turning off some taps in my coffee urn. My friend Jo Priestley recently gave me a great way of thinking about wellbeing - which I wrote about a few columns ago - saying we should imagine our life as a coffee urn that has multiple taps coming out of it. Jo said that the taps represent the everyday stresses and things you do just to get through the day, and at times in our lives we may need to turn some taps off when things start to get on top of us.

According to Jo, when the level of the urn lowers, our energy levels suffer, too. We spread ourselves too thin and we feel overwhelmed, burnt-out and lacking in energy. In order to refill our urn we need to turn some taps off.

Sadly, I am turning off the Happiness Journey column tap in order to protect my wellbeing. I have thoroughly enjoyed writing the column and I have appreciated the support and friendship of the editor of the Wanganui Chronicle, Mark Dawson.

But 2016 sees me waving a white flag in the air. I capitulate to the demands of injury, grief, study, mothering, wife'ing, friend'ing, daughter'ing, sister'ing ... and just being. I plan to evoke more stillness in my life and, in doing so, feel more closely connected to those I love.

Iain Thomas sums my predicament perfectly: "And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, 'This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!' and each day it's up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, 'No, this is what's important'."

And let's us not forget what the most important thing in the world is ... "He tangata, he tangata, he tangata."

Be well everyone and thanks for reading my column for the past few years.

**A registered psychologist with a masters in applied psychology, Whanganui mother-of-two Kristen Hamling is studying for a PhD in wellbeing at Auckland University of Technology.