Kristen Hamling: Gotta laugh when plumbing goes bad

PROSTATE cancer is definitely not a laughing matter. In fact, it can be deadly serious.

So how is it that whenever I think of my father's recent experience of prostate cancer that I start to giggle? It all comes down to my dad's sense of humour.

A few months ago dad was diagnosed with his second round of cancer, first was bowel and this time round was prostate. Top marks to dad, who regularly got his PSA test done. It was caught early, but was a highly aggressive type of prostate cancer. The surgeon said that if he'd gone a few more months it could have been game over.

Given the level of aggressiveness of the cancer, my father's post-op recovery has been terrible. His plumbing is all out of whack and his lifestyle has been seriously compromised.

Adding to the horror of it all is the wife in the background (and his female physiotherapist) stating the "obvious", but probably not so compassionate, fact that men are a bit sooky la la when it comes to men's health issues. My father now has to hear all about how women have been wetting themselves for decades before a man ever had trouble with his toilet habits.

Poor dad.

What is a man to do?

With much of the male ego tied up with strength, virility and a working ... h hum, well, you know what I mean ... how is a man supposed to cope after prostate cancer?

Well, in my father's case, with great humour.

For example, instead of signing off his email with "Regards, Graham Rees", dad's signature now reads "Regards, Grandpa Pissy Pants".

When he returned to work in Melbourne's CBD (in nice corporate offices, I might add) he sat down with his team and unashamedly told them that he had to wear incontinence pants and wee pads. In fact, he made an argument as to why everyone should wear them, as people wouldn't have to go to the toilet.

They could just sit at their desks and do what they had to do. Productivity could be increased.

Dad explained that if he had to run out of a meeting it was because he needed to urgently deal with issues in the toilet.

Every now and then dad went off to the loo, waving his wee pads in the air. Seriously, I don't know how he gets away with this behaviour.

But what a great example of resilience. Resilient people tend to have a way of turning something horrible into their advantage. They use humour and problem solving, and have a tendency to focus on what they control, rather than on what they can't.

I'm just so super proud of my dad, and I'm glad that there are people out there like him paving the way for other men to be a bit more open about their health issues.

I want other men to learn from my dad's experience and make sure that they have regular PSA checks, especially annual checks after the age of 60.

Love you, Grandpa Pissy Pants!