Kate Stewart: So, where is the honour?

NOT ON THE LIST: Street cleaners didn't scoop any honours this year, despite giving us cities to be proud of. A-020306HCPBAMA

CALL ME old-fashioned - and, trust me, I've been called a lot worse - but I kind of liked the way the New Year's Honours list used to come from the Queen, herself.

Even though, deep down, you knew the old girl was acting under the advice of others, there was a regalness to the whole affair that just couldn't - and still can't - be substituted.

While many may be opposed to the whole monarchy thing, it was little traditions like the New Year's Honours that made belonging to it special.

I remember back in the day (you know you're old when you use phrases like that) when there would be much talk and speculation about who would be bestowed with such an honour. Printing presses would be put on hold and families would gather around radios and black-and-white televisions, hungry to be among the first to hear.

The list was small and select, perfectly reflective of our country.

I can't help but wonder if the whole affair has lost some of its shine since we decided we could do a better job on our own.

If handing out more was the object of the exercise, then we have succeeded beyond all expectations. If anything we now seem to handing them out willy-nilly - and for just about anything.

It's like everyone getting a bag of cereal and digging to the bottom to see if you were lucky enough to get the free toy.

The honours have become so common nowadays that they no longer feel special.

Did you see this year's list? I thought it would never end, and I nearly fell asleep twice reading through it - they should have made it available as a talking book or considered the idea of publishing half the list one day followed by a sequel the next.

I'm all for people being recognised for their achievements and contributions but what exactly is the criteria? Is there even a criteria any more?

I understand the awards for philanthropists, selfless volunteers and those that have impacted their selected field with life-changing/world-breaking discoveries. But what I don't get is people who are just doing their job.

We are told what field they are meant to have contributed to, but not what the actual contribution was. What was the difference between the person awarded and the all the others in the same field who didn't get recognition? Is it a time issue - do something for long enough and get a prize?

And all such glamorous industries - broadcasting, sport, journalism, science.

Where's the bloody award for the street cleaner with 40 years under his belt cleaning up everyone else's crap - rain, hail or shine. And getting paid bugger all to do it.

No, let's instead recognise a sports broadcaster - not even a particularly good one in my opinion - who gets paid handsomely and travels the world as an added perk. I fail to see what was his significant contribution to his industry. The same can be said for many others on the list.

But if time in the job is all it takes to qualify, then we must recognise every job, not just the high profile vocations.

By passing these awards out like jellybeans we are disrespecting those who are truly worthy of such an honour.

It's akin to what we see in schools these days - making sure everyone gets a certificate of participation even if they achieved squat.

Maybe Julie Christie can make a new reality show out of next year's list. Each nominee getting their own emotive back story to carefully selected music before the public are asked to vote on whether they deserve to make the final list. Then they go off to judges' retreats where they must complete a series of absurd challenges to prove they are worthy of an honour.

Even if they don't revert back to the old system, I hope that before the next new year rolls around, the powers-that-be will learn from the saying "less is more".

It's hard to see the honour when the selection process is little more than a joke.

-Kate Stewart is a staunch advocate of common sense and three-ply toilet tissue who was somehow left off the New Year's Honours list - feedback to investik8@gmail.com