It's bizarre this judgment of women

Paul Henry's mockery has disappeared from the TV3 website.

Last week my company appointed a new chief executive for our Australia-New Zealand business - Lara Poloni, a fabulous and inspirational woman only a couple of years older than me.

When I sent her a note of congratulations, I commented that we were yet to live in a world where a young(er) woman leading a company of 3000-plus wasn't noteworthy.

I thought of my new boss, too, when I read about the first female mayor of a small United States town who, when asked "How can you do this when you have two young children at home?", always gives the same calm response: "Why are men allowed to do that and women are not?"

This week, unfortunately, I came across plenty of material to remind me of the differences in how society treats women - particularly their physical appearance. Fat, as they say, is still a feminist issue.

In London, opera singer Tara Erraught was critiqued for her physique rather than her performance. Given opera is one area where being a larger size would seem to be an asset, it is even more pointed that this was the focus.

Being judged on the way you look, which is almost always irrelevant, is pretty common for women, so it was good to read of a celebrity fighting back.

British comedian Sarah Millican was mocked for her dress and appearance at the Baftas in 2013, and wrote about the upsetting experience in the lead-up to this year's event. She said it was awkward because "I'm not a model (I'm a comedian), have never learnt to pose on a red carpet (I'm a comedian)".

Millican promised to wear the same dress for the 2014 Baftas, which she wasn't able to attend in person, instead wearing it to her stand-up gig the same night. And with good humour when she lost out on her 2014 nomination, said via Twitter, "Well, I'm glad I didn't buy a new dress".

It's bizarre this judgment of women who are not the usual skinny size we regularly see on TV, especially when you consider what skinny looks like in real life - bony and uncomfortable, and oh, so hungry. Maintaining that figure must be misery-inducing and while a few achieve it naturally and healthily, many do not.

But the unfair comments that really got my goat were those made closer to home by the not-so-enlightened Paul Henry on his late night TV3 show last week. He mocked the job of a woman pictured in the background of the Budget debate in Parliament. His sneering extended to critiquing her ability to move around in small spaces - a somewhat unusual requirement in his selective reading of her job description.

Interestingly, that portion of the episode has now been deleted from the TV3 website with no explanation provided. Given the extreme attention given to Newstalk ZB's Rachel Smalley when she described New Zealand women as "a bunch of lardos" when she thought her microphone was off, it seems at least inconsistent that Henry's abuse has not been highlighted.

The difference, so far at least, is that Smalley didn't intend to make those comments publicly and she apologised quickly for them.

I was disappointed that once I started looking for news items on women's appearances, they weren't hard to find. And I suspect this wasn't an unusual week. What must our activist leaders of the 70s think - it's been 40 years but the shifts are sluggish.

To finish with something inspiring from women who are no slugs, check out www.nobodyshame.com and Whitney Thore's "A Fat Girl Dancing" YouTube series - challenging stereotypes around happiness and body size.

So how am I going on my challenge to slow down? No great improvement yet I'm afraid. However, I did lie on the couch, glass of wine in hand, last Sunday afternoon, while my husband took the kids to the park and listened to a Radio New Zealand clip on the very topic - Wayne Brittenden's Counterpoint on waiting. I'm happy to find time for more of that, although the dancing looks fun too.

FOOTNOTE: Paul Henry did apologise on air this week for the distress caused, although has apparently not contacted the woman to apologise personally. Can I hope he won't unfairly belittle a woman's appearance again? We live in hope.

Nicola Young is a former Department of Conservation manager who now works for global consultancy AECOM. Educated at Wanganui Girls' College, she has a science degree and is the mother of two boys.