Is it really our business?

If you are going to comment on Prince Harry's book, at least read it first, says Kathy Cunningham.

OPINION:

Have you read the book Spare by Prince Harry? I’ve just finished it, and I am using the book as the theme of this column.

This is not a book review, but a series of observations and questions around global and local actions, as well as social norms.

Do you believe the British royal family is of modern-day relevance? What value do they bring to the Commonwealth? What values do the Windsors have that we can aspire to? And why should we care about what the royal family wear to gala events and what they do in their private time?

But first, a few observations about Prince Harry’s book and the conversations I have had with friends and family. Some have said that they will never read this book and that Prince Harry is trying to take down the royal family.

I wonder where they get this idea. Is it only reading headlines and not the story? Is it browsing women’s magazines at the supermarket checkout and only looking at the pictures? How can anyone say something like that without having any facts to back it up?

When speaking with a British friend who lives in the UK, I asked what he thought about Prince Harry’s book, and he responded, “It is all about context”. I concur.

For example, when Prince Harry turned 30 years old, the British media lamented that he had yet to marry and said he should wed his former girlfriend, Cameron Diaz. According to Harry, he and Diaz have never met. Context.

The trauma Harry and William experienced when their mother unexpectedly died was telling of what was to come, with Harry’s private life and marriage making for false and splashy headlines. Paparazzi swarmed in supermarkets, immediately outside their homes and even around their island home in Vancouver, trying to capture a private moment. And for what?

Without giving too much of the book away, Prince Harry asks his father and brother, “Do you understand why I am leaving?”, and they don’t. That made me sad. But, then I pondered about how Harry’s father and brother live their lives – mostly with a stiff upper lip.

How do we misunderstand so much and not base our truth on facts? How do we take a situation and change it to meet our worldview? And why do we do this all the time?

Take, for example, an experience that my husband Andy and I had in Whanganui recently. While socialising at opposite ends of the room, where many were enjoying a wine and a nibble, a woman strongly suggested to a small group that our wedding was a Covid super-spreader event.

Andy heard her say this and was so shocked that he did not immediately respond.

Our wedding was not a super-spreader event and this person was not even there, but stated with such authority an outright lie. Yes, a couple of our guests who attended a concert in Wellington prior contracted Covid. The best man had Covid, but tested negative prior. Does that make for a ‘super-spreader’ event?

I use this as an example of someone changing the facts to meet their limited worldview.

Now, let’s go back to the global phenomenon that is the royal family. Are we culpable? We are the ones buying magazines and newspapers about their every move and garment, every scandal and every mundane moment.

I believe it is none of our business. And if you have not read Spare or don’t know the Windsors personally, you have no right to comment on what Harry is or isn’t doing. I believe Harry is trying to live his life the best possible way he can and to keep his wife and children safe. Read the book.