You'll see in her description that "input in" must match "input out" for us to successfully match the demands of life with the resources we have available to manage them.
Read and learn ...
"Over coffee one day I mentioned my way of rationalising stress to Kristen.
It soon became an animated discussion involving drawing on a serviette, and what I drew was an odd-looking coffee urn with random taps poking out.
It's a coffee urn because I can relate to it.
The taps represent the everyday stresses and things you do just to get through the day.
I was explaining to Kristen how I reduce the environmental stressors that cause me anxiety. I am a visual person and I like to rationalise things, hence the coffee urn with taps.
So, draw yourself a coffee urn, and make it a big one.
Next, draw a tap for each thing you have to think about or worry about that day. Mine could read: Functioning; bills; renovating the house; work; friends; child; phone; housework; emails ... you get the idea.
Draw the picture with the taps on and running.
At the bottom of the urn is one tap which I call the "getting out of bed and functioning" tap. At the top of the urn is another tap, which fills up your urn.
When things start to get on top of me, I realise that too many of the taps are running full on. The level in the urn is lowering, which affects how much energy I have to give my kids and to keep myself functioning well. I know that it is time to do something to change my environment.
In my mind I picture turning a tap off. I go to my urn and select which tap is going off - the first is usually the phone, so stopping all phone calls, texts, Facebook messages, access to bank apps and work emails (outside of work hours).
I turn the tap off by powering off my phone and leave it off, giving my urn time to fill up a bit.
On a really bad day, everything will go off, and I will have a "cave day" with peace and quiet.
This gives me time to build up a reserve again.
My partner Wayne is the opposite - he fills his tank by listening to loud music.
Do whatever works for you. Be kind to yourself and give your mind and body what it needs."
Great wisdom, Jo!
-A registered psychologist with a masters in applied psychology, Whanganui mother-of-two Kristen Hamling is studying for a PhD in wellbeing at Auckland University of Technology.
