The nurses and doctors were just chatting, encouraging. Me, I’m a cot case. This can’t be right. No one ever spoke about this in the only pre-natal class I made it to.
The family doctor had been called in from the golf course. He also brought a couple of doctor mates with him to watch. It was morning so I was pleased that they probably hadn’t been to the 19th hole by then.
While they talked handicaps and new putters, I’m looking for the Valium.
Everyone seemed to be having a great time except us. The eldest eventually arrived, panic over. Well, no one was panicking except me by then. Jen was looking relieved.
Then I held that wee baby in my arms and was smitten and happy. Still am. Kids do that to you.
By the time her little brother arrived a few years later, I was pretty laid-back about it all, helping here and there. An experienced dad.
We were very young. Too young by today’s standards. Children are still living at home nowadays at the age we were. We were out in the world, working, living, enjoying life.
Young people did that then. Many still do, I suppose. Entering upon an adult life with all its mystery and possible pitfalls.
We both knew we still had supportive parents nearby but we were doing our own thing. Everyone our age was. We were not a “stay-at-home” generation.
Out of there as soon as possible, off to career and trade training, university, work or overseas. Early marriage or partnerships.
Babies tended to arrive early for the Baby Boomers. Mothers in their early 20s were the norm then, whereas now many women wait until later.
In 1975, there were 7778 first births to married women aged 20 to 24, with 4000 first births to women aged 25 to 29 but only 1065 births to women aged 30 to 34 in New Zealand.
By 2015, it was 1365 for married women aged 20 to 25 but 4750 for women aged 25 to 29, beaten by women aged 30 to 34, who had 5169 first births.
I suppose all this means many things down the line. It means that the modern mums and dads will be maybe “old old” (over 80) by the time their first treasure reaches half a century.
Sadly, the figures I found related only to married women. So there will be some skewing there with marriage now maybe not as fashionable or necessary as it once was.
It is likely safe to assume that the changes in first-birth numbers over the years will be across all women in the age groups quoted, though.
The thing is those years slip by. That wee baby became a teenager knowing everything about everything and having her own strong opinions about it all.
Too cool to allow her dad to drop her off or pick her up outside parties but really wanting me to be there for her, parked just down the road.
She finishes school and leaves home, just like her parents did. We had no idea how our parents felt when we left home until that day. We soon found out. She was gone. We worried every day. It was awful but we had to suck it up.
Of course, it all worked out in the end. It usually does if children are allowed the chance to flourish, maybe make a mistake or two but still have that base to go back to when things get a bit tough.
Mum and Dad were still there, just quietly in the background. Well, maybe not quietly, we also had strong opinions, as is the way in some families.
Always there with an open door, a meal, a hug, an ear and a bed if needed. Also the Bank of Mum and Dad was sometimes tapped.
It is hard being a parent. It is also hard, maybe harder, being a child who wants independence come hell or high water but faces a future uncertain, often including student debt, but full of hope.
All those years. They have flown. Great memories, laughter, a few tears, adventures. We would not have missed them for anything.
