Finger on TV pulse, another on mouse, two at fat cats

Coming to grips with the wonders of modern technology, for me, has been a slow and often frustrating process.

I still rely heavily on the assistance of a life form to complete what many would deem the simplest of tasks.

My skill base is minimal, to say the least, but the tasks I have mastered are serving me well.

With the normal budget restraints of anyone on a benefit, the prospect of the ridiculously named Freeview left me unprepared for the big switchover. I didn't have the right aerial nor did I have the special box device that was required.

I could have taken up a Sky subscription but, having realised years ago that I was shelling out big bucks to watch the same old trash being regurgitated year after year, I refused to go down that path again.

Today I'm happy to report my "television" viewing time has never been better; in fact, it's picture perfect, excuse the pun.

Despite the lack of equipment the propaganda led us to believe was absolutely vital to have, I am watching what I want, when I want, without ad breaks, legally and at no cost.

Better still, while those around me are paying through the nose, for the touted "necessities", I'm enjoying series after series of quality programmes sometimes years before they will be on offer via regular channels, not to mention the added benefit and luxury of being able to view programmes and movies that would otherwise never be made available.

I am so spoilt for choice my biggest problem now is just that ... choice. With every genre available, I can spend hours just deciding what to watch. From television programmes dating back to the 50s, to childhood favourites to the latest and greatest, virtually every episode from the year dot is just a mouse click away.

While the Kiwi masses recently got to experience the brilliance of House of Cards, with Kevin Spacey, I was already done and dusted with series two; not to mention the recent hype by TV1 for the series Broadchurch ... if being made in 2008 even classifies as recent.

It's so liberating, not to have your viewing dictated to you or being patronised about how lucky you should feel to get the chance to watch something that was made years ago. I even get to view ahead of the so-called hot-off-the-satellite, "express" on demand.

This is one time when having no money actually worked in my favour. Had I had the means, I would have believed all the BS and gone out and spent up large on aerials and installations and/or signed up for the rip-off pay-per-view options and still be stuck with the enforced dreaded ad breaks.

Whether sitting in the lounge watching TV via internet courtesy of a $30 cable or wrapped up snug and warm in bed with Lappy, a virtual world of viewing awaits me. I'm in charge, no having to programme recording devices, or fork out money to burn my own copies or be pressured by the time limits imposed on viewing some on-demand items. My choices are no longer limited to those decided by others. Tailor-made TV is the only way to go.

By putting one finger on my mouse and doing a little bit of groundwork I can now put two fingers proudly in the air and aim them squarely at those who would have us believe they own the airwaves.

The real irony is that by not buying into the notion of Freeview, I'm free to watch what everyone else has blindly paid for and then some at little or no cost. I feel like a credit card advertisement ... not that I can even remember what an ad looks like.

Cancel your subscriptions and join the revolution. Cost of an HDMI cable $29.99. Cost of getting one over on the fat cats, priceless.

Feel free to email me with any feedback or a real-time update on what's happening on Coronation Street. investik8@gmail.com

Kate Stewart is an unemployed, reluctant mother of three currently running amok in the city - approach with cheesecake.