Discover joy of making others happy

IT IS often in the most unlikely places that we meet the most extraordinary people. People who seem quite ordinary on the surface, but when you dig a little deeper they are super interesting and amazing.

It would come as no surprise that for anyone who knows me I love talking to people.

I love finding out people's stories, their opinions, the difficult paths that they have walked in life, and what makes them happy. I will be forever grateful to my father's guidance in helping me to become a psychologist - best job ever for a people lover.

A recent "choice" encounter for me was a few Saturday nights ago as I plonked myself down next to a burly, intimidating and serious looking motorbike rider. I started to find out his story and the next thing I found myself on the back of his bike cruising around town and up to the Durrie Hill lookout. Whilst we looked out over the beautiful Wanganui we talked.

His name is Waaka Peacock and he seems to have a heart of gold. He tells me that he loves taking people for bike rides. He recalled an encounter a few weeks ago where an older lady approached him in Caroline's Boatshed's car park and asked him to take her on her first ever motorbike ride.

He said he was delighted to give this older lady a first experience, and that he got to share this special experience with her.

There were numerous other stories where he'd taken people on bike rides and vicariously felt their joy.

Waaka asked what else is there in life but to make other people happy. For if you are making others happy then you are filling your own heart with joy. Seriously, how do some people get so smart?

On this night I saw a young man, who worked in a local wine bar, run out of work to tell Waaka that he is a "gem of a man". The young man says that he regularly witnesses Waaka give people bike rides and they come off his bike delighted and full of excitement.

I think that meeting Waaka made me realise that sometimes we ought to step away from our own agenda for happiness and consider what would make others happy.

For instance, a friend of mine was buzzing about a recent fun and positive experience that she'd had with her mother.

She had gone out of her way to reunite her mother with an old friend, taking them out to lunch together. Her mother had enjoyed the experience so much that her joy had become infectious.

It first brought joy to my friend, who then shared the experience with her family and friends, making us feel happy too. We agreed that there is probably more joy to be had in making another person happy than in only making yourself happy.

So I think this may be my new agenda for happiness, focusing a bit more on making others happy and letting their joy rub off on me.

-A registered psychologist with a masters in applied psychology, Wanganui mother-of-two Kristen Hamling is studying for a PhD in wellbeing at Auckland University of Technology.