"WHATEVER doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," has been my mantra this past month.
I have been in the thick of academia on steroids, writing the research proposal for my PhD, over and over and over again.
Although I quite enjoy the stillness of night, I am starting to want to sleep at midnight versus burn the midnight oil.
There have been so many times when I have thought: "I have no bloody idea what I am doing", "this is all too hard" and "for the love of God, I don't care whether this study has enough power or not ... just sign the bloody form".
Then I recover, overcome any doubts, write a masterpiece and send it off smugly for review.
Unfortunately, my smugness doesn't last. The review comes back in a sea of red track changes, so much so it looks like the document has been murdered. Words are bleeding off the pages in despair.
In order for me to rewrite the research proposal over the past few weeks, I have had to involve my family.
My husband has helped more and more around the house. My son suggested that he get himself to and from school and he offered to give up a few nightly tickle sessions before bed so I could get my work done.
I have shared the process with my boys, as I want them to understand that "nothing great is ever achieved without enthusiasm" (Ralph Waldo Emerson) - and hard work.
I shared with my 7-year-old my disappointment that the reviewers did not like all of my work, and that I needed to keep working on it to make it better.
My son said: "Mummy, if I sent them my favourite blue angry bird, will that make them like your work.".
The point of my story is that there are valuable lessons in taking on a challenge. I hope that I am a role model to my children on a few of these (well not the one about red wine making everything better).
A lesson I do want them to vicariously learn is that there is power in overcoming setbacks and disappointment.
If you don't ever push yourself in life then you will never realise how strong and resourceful you can be.
Another lesson is that despite feeling uncomfortable for a little while, by taking one step outside of your comfort zone, you grow your brain, you develop your resilience and you consolidate your strengths.
Growing yourself in this way helps you to realise your potential and achieve goals that others may only dream about. With each step forward, you create changes in yourself, your environment and in your relationships.
But, in order to grow, you do have to step outside your comfort zone and be comfortable with discomfort.
These are the lessons I want for my boys, so they understand inner strength is often cultivated by overcoming things that don't go your way.
To everyone else, I strongly suggest you find yourself a challenge, in whatever shape or form that may come in.
Find something you are interested in and passionate about and go for it. The gains you will make will filter out to every other aspect of your life.
As Jerry Dunn (marathon runner) has said: "Don't limit your challenges - challenge your limits." I couldn't agree more.
A registered psychologist with a masters in applied psychology, Wanganui mother-of-two Kristen Hamling is studying for a PhD in well-being at Auckland University of Technology