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Home / Whanganui Chronicle

Busy life livelier with bundles of joy

By Nicola Young
Whanganui Chronicle·
14 Feb, 2014 06:43 PM4 mins to read

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A couple of happy campers try out a pepi-pod bed - a basket with a mattress that allows babies to safely sleep in bed beside their parents. Photo/APN

A couple of happy campers try out a pepi-pod bed - a basket with a mattress that allows babies to safely sleep in bed beside their parents. Photo/APN

I read an opinion piece in UK newspaper The Guardian this week about a British father, Richard Orange, who has been living in Sweden for two years with his wife and two young children.

It was about how he was finding it a challenge to balance part-time work with childcare responsibilities alongside his wife.

Oh, really?

Welcome to the world of being a working mum.

Orange's article was all about how flexible employers are absolutely critical to working and being a hands-on parent and it highlighted that Sweden is ahead of the curve with supportive policies and practices in place.

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He pointed out the cultural change required in Britain from employers and dads for such policies to work - well, I think it's the same in New Zealand, too.

I'm one of the few who have a very supportive working arrangement. I work 20 hours a week from home, with most hours falling on the three days a week I have my boys in childcare.

My employer, AECOM, is a global company and I co-ordinate a programme across Australia and New Zealand, so my bosses appreciate me being flexible, too, when phone calls come at unusual times.

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It is disappointing that my work-life balance is envied and rare. It works surprisingly well for me, although I have to acknowledge that the work is enjoyable, stimulating and well paid, which maybe already puts it in a extraordinary category.

I'd love to see work-from-home become more common for people and jobs that can make it happen. It doesn't take away all the headaches of holding down a job while you have young children in terms of the cost and availability of childcare, but it does mean you can more easily keep your work moving when they are inevitably sick.

This week I also read a wonderful piece on the Matt Walsh blog acknowledging that being "just" a stay-at-home-mum doesn't make you a lesser contributor in any way. It's amazing how much more complex life becomes once you become a parent - it is no longer all about you, and everything you do is multiplied by these dependent, demanding and delightful little beings.

And where would our communities be without mums making huge contributions as volunteers or caring for their extended families? We should be more appreciative and grateful for the unpaid load that mums carry.

Of course, not every family is dad working fulltime and mum staying home or working part-time. There are many single-parent families, grandparents looking after grandchildren and same-sex families, too, so forgive me for generalising when I use the term stay-at-home mum.

It was sad to read that Whanganui leads New Zealand in the Sudden Unexpected Death in Infancy (SUDI) statistics.

My husband's cousin lost her beautiful baby girl, Isla, in early 2013 at just a month old. She and another mum have set up a website to support others grieving and are developing free care packages for people in the early days of loss. Check out their website, if you feel you can contribute or if you need support - www.islaandpema.webs.com

I fear that the messages around SUDI mean people get nervous admitting co-sleeping and so don't talk about how to do it safely. Last year I met someone from Whakawhetu, the national SUDI prevention service for Maori, when she was in Whanganui to promote weaving flax bassinets or wahakura for babies.

One of the biggest risk factors with SUDI is when adults or other children share a bed with a baby, and that's where a wahakura, or pepi-pod, is a great solution. It gives bubba a separate sleeping surface, with air circulation and their own bedding, and it can be placed on top of the bed.

It's easy to respond to your baby in the night for feeding and resettling, without the risks associated with actually sharing the same bed and blankets.

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Our precious children are dependent on us for only a short time and, for some, it's all too short a time. Even when life is busy or tedious, it's important to savour those moments of joy our children share with us - an extra hug for the kids tonight.

Nicola Young is a former Department of Conservation manager who now works for global consultancy AECOM. Educated at Wanganui Girls' College, she has a science degree and is the mother of two boys.

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