Aliens prefer America

One of the more serious disadvantages to not living in the United States is the lack of alien visits and abductions.
Why our more advanced neighbours should choose to frequent the North American continent above all others is a mystery - as are they - but the evidence points to more visits and abductions there than in any other place on the planet.
Are they better subjects? Is their physiology of a higher calibre? Is there something about Americans that the rest of the world's citizens can't provide?
Whatever the reason, the aliens' obvious favouritism is unfair on those further removed, and by that I mean us!
Just because we live in some far-flung corner of the civilised world, why should we be denied the thrill - or at least the expectation of the thrill - of being dragged away by some multi-eyed monster for study and interesting conversation? Is it something we said? Did our anti-nuclear stance upset the interplanetary committee for peace, love and plutonium? Is it Jandals; are they a problem? Why are they avoiding us?
Extraterrestrials could learn a lot about life on Earth by studying your average Kiwi (human). Unencumbered by patriotic notions of superiority, relatively widely-read and well-educated, a New Zealander could offer a balanced view of Earthly knowledge, opinion and skills. Being of many races, mostly mixed, we would be ideal subjects for genetic study and we have a few other advantages besides.
Given access to number 8 wire, a Bakelite wireless tuned to a racing or rugby station, a supply of lamingtons and an endless brew, your average (legendary) Kiwi could probably fix the failing interstellar drive on the hosts' spaceship, improve the quality of their radiowave reception (those signals sent from ever-hopeful planets) and give them a few pointers on how to deal with other alien life forms in more remote parts of the galaxy. Oh, and how long to leave the tea bag in the pot before stewing takes place.
That same average Kiwi bloke or blokette could suggest ways to study our Australian neighbours and the right questions to ask their Prime Minister, should they choose to abduct him (and, I suggest, more for political reasons than intellectual observation).
We did have a bit of excitement years ago when a cluster of UFO sightings occurred over the South Island, but said saucers didn't stick around, and, if there were any abductions, no one bothered to report them. A bit selfish, if you ask me. Here's a tip; if you are taken by aliens, we would really appreciate hearing about it and we could probably get something into the papers. That would make you famous. I'm guessing it didn't happen which is why there were no reports. And it's because we're not American!
A quick glance at all the major websites dealing with aliens and abductions confirms that most are American-operated and some are so successful they attract big advertisers ... of "normal" product. There you will find practically anything lumped under the heading of "paranormal" but articles on UFO sightings and visits are their prime sustenance. They all claim that "thousands" of people are lifted from their homes, beds, trucks, trailer parks, etc, every year, but not all of them remember the experience. So how do they know? Be that as it may, if you suspect you could have been abducted, or if you would like to be, choose one of these websites and read to your heart's content. Every question you ever had will be answered, right down to "What do aliens smell like?"
Even the official "skeptics" are in on the act, refuting alien abduction stories as fast as they appear. The problem with that is as soon as you deny something, you are admitting there is something to deny. To every action there is an opposite and equal reaction, according to Newton's Third Law, implying one can't exist without the other. For skeptics to deny alien visits and abductions, there have to be alien visits and abductions. Which still doesn't explain why the US gets the lion's share.
Believers (about a third of all Americans apparently) put the source of contact at Roswell in 1947, when, so they say, an alien spacecraft crashed in a remote part of New Mexico. Since then, the US Government has maintained communication and cosy chats over coffee with very foreign people who look a lot like ET.
Is that what we need? Our own Roswell? Your mission, should you want to be abducted, is to project manage an alien crash. Our Government will then have to learn how to communicate with superior beings ... and there lies a problem.