This busy, central steakhouse is packed with charm, diners - and one big contradiction.
Don’t let anyone tell you Wellington’s CBD is dead. We stepped into this large dining room at 7.45pm on a Monday night and they didn’t have room for us. Of course, it’s possible they were full
This restaurant is a bit of an enigma. We were asked to wait in an unadorned bar area, which felt a lot like a pub, but when we were shown to a table, the waiter laid my napkin over my lap for me - something I haven’t experienced since … well, I’m not sure it’s ever happened. I felt momentarily unnerved having a stranger’s hands fluttering about my area, but I got over it and soon discovered that attentive service is what Charley Noble does best. They are all working very hard this lot, ferrying food about and fetching drinks from one of the country’s most extensive wine lists. Our waiter talked about the specials before concluding, “and that’s the end of my 38-second speech!” which I thought was very sweet, and also a first.
I was delighted to see Vilaura, named New Zealand’s overall top wine last year, as the house bubbles (I don’t think they offered anything local by the glass last week at Aosta, despite it being in Central Otago wine country) and I also loved that they offered a 100ml option alongside the standard 150ml serve. I ordered one of the shorter pours, but something that looked suspiciously like a full glass arrived all the same, and when I shared the mix-up with the guy in charge of my bill, he just said, “Sorry about that”, and stared at me until I handed over my credit card.
But otherwise, I have no complaints about the service, and the cooking, which we’ll get to, is excellent too. So why didn’t I have a great time at Charley Noble? Because I was disappointed in much of the menu. It’s a steak restaurant, which is not my favourite genre (to me it’s like having a restaurant offering six cuts of roast chicken), but even the long list of non-steak dishes didn’t appeal very much.
Out of boredom, we ordered the ceviche, but it was a lot of nothing. Trevally and citrus will always taste good, but there was little to indicate they’d put much thought into it. I suspect (though can’t confirm) that the “classic” steak tartare is the same. That ceviche cost $28 and, look, I know adding up ingredient costs in a restaurant is a fool’s errand, but for some lime juice and a piece of trevally they could have bought for a gold coin donation, I felt it was a slap in the face.
While we’re on prices, the oysters are $7.50 each, which is marginally more expensive than even the flashest places in Auckland.
The waiter recommended a cherry tomato mafaldine, but it was, I’m sorry, the least impressive pasta dish I’ve eaten in five years. It didn’t taste bad, just exceptionally bland. It came with a bright red sauce that looked like it hadn’t met the pasta before they joined each other on the plate. There was no cheese of any description, so the whole thing relied on the special ingredient, prawns, to contribute some deliciousness. Unfortunately, there were only three of these prawns in the entire bowl.
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Advertise with NZME.Cotto changed the pasta game in New Zealand, and Pici took it up another level. The executive chef here needs to eat at those places and then Palato, Bianca and Bossi before going back to the drawing board.
Side dishes of Brussels sprouts (with walnut and carrot puree) and bitter leaf salad were fine, and, unsurprisingly, the best dish on the menu is the steak, which is perfectly cooked and served with your choice of sauce or flavoured butter. Then, when you think you’re in condiment heaven, a waiter approaches with a mustard tray from which you can choose what you like. I plumped for an exceptionally hot English mustard and a lovely horseradish cream, and I had no problem finishing everything on the plate. I chose the scotch, but you will have your favourite cut.
While we’re on the topic, I’ve been learning recently that ordering a boutique New Zealand steak is no guarantee of quality - not even a boutique New Zealand wagyu steak. If you’re spending $50-100 and still aren’t impressed, don’t worry - it’s not just you.
Like I say, this restaurant is an enigma. The staff in and out of the kitchen are well-trained, and it’s great that the city has a busy, quality restaurant offering serious dining seven days a week. But the menu? There’s room to make it much, much better.
CHARLEY NOBLE
Cuisine: Bistro
Address: 1 Post Office Square, Te Aro, Wellington
Contact: Charleynoble.co.nz
Drinks: Fully licensed
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Advertise with NZME.Reservations: Lunch, Sundays and groups of 8+
From the menu: Ceviche $28, Mafaldine (entree size) $28, bitter leaf salad $15, Brussels sprouts $15, scotch fillet $65
Rating: 15/20
Score: 0-7 Steer clear. 8-12 Disappointing, give it a miss. 13-15 Good, give it a go. 16-18 Great, plan a visit. 19-20 Outstanding, don’t delay.
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