Letter to the Editor Thursday March 28, 2013

Easy pickings

At the Hikoi Against Child Abuse the other week I had the privilege to spend time with Fiona Lovatt, the ex- principal of Oturu School and the only fellow educator of James Parker's who refused to be blinded by the fawning, manipulative tactics of this dangerous paedophile. Fiona and I caught up early on the Wednesday morning - strangers but sisters in spirit - and joined the day's Ngati Kahu-led event through Kaitaia.

It was a good event but I wondered why there weren't more people there.

Afterwards Fiona and I sat in court together, listening to James Parker's defence counsel trying to lay off the responsibility for his heinous crimes. Parker sat in the dock wearing his wedding ring - clearly still manipulating his audience.

I have lived in this community for nearly a decade, raising my young sons and working the past five years in a community development and education role. I was sadly not surprised at the revealing of 'a paedophile in our midst.' Shocked at the crimes, yes, but fully aware that the laid-back, no nark, cliquey culture of the Far North is easy pickings for the likes of Parker, as anyone who cared to Google 'paedophile' would know.

I have asked myself - does access to young children a paedophile make? Or is it merely that the trusting professions of pastor, teacher, doctor, priest - professions offering unlimited and power-laden access to young children - attract paedophiles?

I have spoken with and read the blogs of victims of child sex abuse, and read research papers and statistics on the life-long damage caused. I have read the current research and debate on the feasibility of rehabilitating paedophiles. As far as I can tell, locking them up for life is the only way to guarantee they won't offend again. It's not rocket science.

We need to think about the definition of violence and why the destruction of a child's innocence and dignity for the rest of their lives is not considered violence ... We need to think about, and do something about, the rate of child suicide in our communities here.

I was not surprised to find paedophiles and rapists in our midst. Sadly it happens - in countries all over the world, of all colours, shapes and sizes. What did surprise me was the response of my community, or lack thereof.

I was surprised at how divided the community was over this most debase of criminals. So debase that in any prison across the world such a person will need high security protection against the other inmates. There is a reason for that. There is nothing lower in humanity than the abuse of the trust of a child by an adult.

But I was surprised, even astonished, at how those who did fall for his fawning, manipulative tactics invested their efforts not in an apology to the victims, nor in leaping to acknowledge and aid those they had led to the slaughter, but rather in justifying themselves and the actions they took to defend, and therefore enable Parker to continue. Even in some cases springing to his defence on the basis that 'He was such a good teacher'. Presumably it allows them to sleep at night. Do they wonder how many nights Parker's victims now sleep at all?

And I have asked myself, what is a good teacher? What is a 'good' man? And I return to my hikoi sister Fiona Lovatt, an outstanding educator who refused to grant Parker's teacher registration 16 years ago, not because he was a paedophile but because he was a good teacher in only two categories of the many more required to achieve true teaching competence.

And I think of those who advised those first two little boys to drop their charges for fear of ruining a 'good teacher's reputation'. And I think of those little boys having to walk back into Parker's class to be forgiven their sins - by a monster.

We failed these children. We need to take responsibility for that failure. All of us. No finger- pointing. No evading. We need to look at why we took the word of Parker over that of our children. And why we ostracised Fiona Lovatt for voicing concerns that were in the interests of our children.

Paedophiles don't walk around with 'child abuser' tattooed on their foreheads. They don't walk with a limp or squint or have bad breath or speak in a foreign language. The majority of children are abused by members of their own whanau and respected community members who are protected by other adults who choose - yes, choose - to protect their own egos rather than risk ridicule on behalf of a child.

Now I'm a liberal voter. I have never believed in the death sentence but I know that freedom requires constant vigilance from all quarters, especially for the vulnerable in our society. Parker's school failed miserably in its duty of care to its pupils. Our community failed in its duty of care.

Parker is responsible - but we failed to play our part and we are still failing, in our inability to condemn this monster outright and to spend as much time and money on rehabilitating his victims as we are spending on him and our own angst.

A local man waiting with us to go into court to watch proceedings said he expected that the 'tough boy' victims would get through the experience fine but the weaker ones wouldn't. He said that he still thought of Parker as a friend, and could not understand how this had happened. The level of denial beggars belief.

If there is a God there would surely be many more Fiona Lovatts and many less NZEI union reps protecting their members' interests over those of a child, because 'he was such a lovely guy'. In this community you can serve time for rape and still have people say you are a good guy and you didn't really do it - you were just set up. Parker's lawyer presumably believes that it will be the same for him.

MOTHER OF SONS Ahipara