DISAPPEAR IN COOKTOWN

INTO THE HILLS: Black Mountain at Black Mountain Kalkajaka National Park, where they say the lion still roams. Picture by Tourism Tropical North Queensland

The Hillbilly Goats are a headline act at the Lion's Den Hotel. Bad luck when I went because they were away playing the Nindigully Pig Races. But for one set, Lady Valiant's lead singer did drape a couple of Queensland pythons over her shoulders. The local snake catcher had just dropped by.

Really you couldn't make this stuff up.

The Lion's Den pub is even more remote than Cooktown, itself four or six hours north of Cairns, depending whether you take the coast or the inland route.

Cooktown's main claim to fame, of course, is that it was the first location of white “settlement” in Australia. In June 1770 Captain James Cook and his merry band of sailors scraped the Endeavour against a coral reef, then beached it for seven weeks for repairs at Wabalumbaal, subsequently renamed the Endeavour River. After an initial disagreement over the sailors not sharing turtles they had taken off the reef, Cook's crew apparently had good relations with the local Guugu Yimithirr people. The sailors, though, were astonished that the “Indians” displayed no interest in their gifts of cloth, nails, paper and beads but showed more interest in lunch.

An outpost in 1770, even in the 21st century Cooktown has clung to that edgy, end-of-the-world saltiness, which makes it so refreshing to visit. Nowhere in sight are the tourist trinkets made in China and deluxe overpriced restaurants further south, but you do find neat walks to untouched beaches through the forest, friendly pool matches at the Cooktown Hotel, and solid meals at the RSL (think RSA) and the Cooktown Bowls Club. You can fish off the wharf and breakwater in town or take a fishing or crocodile charter upriver or out to sea.

A member of my family, who will remain nameless, took his wife out in a tinny on to a local river but took the wise precaution of arming her with a log in case any crocs showed up. Not the safest thing to do considering they have been known to grow to more than four metres, but probably better than bare knuckles.

Barramundi are a regular catch off the wharf, and we hooked a few bream and barracouta without too much trouble, enough for a family of four. Come down to the wharf at grouper feeding time and watch those enormous fish ease their way in for a meal. They are mostly a shallow-water feeder and now fully protected in Queensland, and if you see them around they are likely feeding and there will be other fish nearby.

Cooktown is great for fruit. Mango trees as big and solid as 200-year-old oaks were in full spiky-orange flower in July, and they grow everywhere in town and in the surrounding bush. November and December are when you eat yourself silly.

Though relatively small, the Cooktown Botanic Gardens are beautifully maintained and amid the lazy tinkle of sprinklers they showcase indigenous trees as well as tropical fruit trees from around the world. You're at the northern end of the Wet Tropics World Heritage area, so the whole environment is drier than the rainforest further south. If you're sneaky enough you might find yourself something tempting and exotic to eat, like a windfall custard apple, jackfruit or the occasional cashew.

The Gardens are also a great starting, stopping or halfway point for walks around Cooktown, mostly on well maintained paths to nearby beaches such as Cherry Tree Bay, Finch Bay, the Old Quarry and Grassy Hill Lookout, where for a small price you can feed the telescope meter and be rewarded with a sensational view over Wabalumbaal, the Cooktown waterfront, mangroves and the country beyond.

The beaches are easy on the eye. Coconut palms line sand lapped by luminous waters and huge granite boulders are washed relentlessly by the surf. Be warned about crocodiles, though, and in summer, stingers in the water.

Just outside town, Kalkajaka National Park is a great stop but you shouldn't stray too far from the main road. It's a jumble of black granite boulders beset by mournful cries and cracking noises, home to the Black Mountain skink, native figs, rock-dwelling lizards and a walnut-sized frog that lays its eggs on land which then hatch into fully formed froglets, skipping the tadpole stage altogether. Kalkajaka is also rumoured to be home to the “Queensland Lion”, which allegedly mauls cattle and has been likened to the long-extinct marsupial lion. Stories abound about people, horses and mobs of cattle disappearing into the rocks, never to be seen again.

That might be a metaphor for Cooktown itself, with its frontier-town feel and the odd shady character who might or might not be one step ahead of the law. A good place to disappear into, anyway, with its lack of deadlines, sleepy long afternoons and the distant clink of rope on mast.

Also down at the wharf is one of the best eating places you'll find in Queensland. The Riverside Cafe doesn't look much from the outside, but the view from the veranda is worth a gaze and the pies (including crocodile and kangaroo) and French pastries are super, with more of that great North Queensland coffee.

Don't miss the Lion's Den, even though it's a bit of a hike out of town. Even as an Australian I needed to pinch myself. Pythons wrapped around singers might not be to everyone's taste, but the sunburnt locals in stubbies and cowboy hats proved pretty entertaining over pizzas and beer.

I'll have to wait for next time for the Hillbilly Goats.