Show them love and right values follow
By GARTH GEORGE
"We are at a point, particularly if we compare New Zealand with other countries, where we have exposed ourselves to the risk of moral bankruptcy." No, it wasn't the Rev Graeme Capill, or the Catholic cardinal, or Mother of Ten, Mt Roskill, speaking. It was Judith Aitken, the chief of the markedly secular Education Review Office.
She made the statement a week or so ago when the Herald began its "Building kids with character" campaign in an effort to encourage a return to the teaching of values in schools. I differ with Ms Aitken only in one small regard: we are not running the risk of moral bankruptcy; all the evidence is that this nation is already morally bankrupt - and has been for the past decade or so.
I have great sympathy for those among us who want to see values taught to our children and I appreciate that several individuals and organisations, the Herald included, are prepared to commit to that.
But, sadly and for a number of reasons, I see little hope of any real success. For one thing, so far it seems that no one can decide just what these values are that should be inculcated into our children; for another, no one so far seems to question whether values, whatever they might be, can, in fact, be taught. And there seems to be a determination that whatever values are settled on, they should have nothing to do with religion, which to most people is synonymous with Judeo-Christianity.
That is the biggest mistake we make, for the whole panoply of human morals, and the ethics and values to which that morality give rise, has always been based, first, on the Ten Commandments and, secondly, on the teachings of Jesus Christ. The teachings of Jesus have nothing whatsoever to do with religion. He had not a religious bone in his body and, for that matter, the only people he ever got grumpy with were the religious leaders of the day.
His values teaching was simple. He broke down the Ten Commandments into just one uncomplicated suggestion: "Love God with all your heart, and your neighbour as yourself." In this, he said, was encapsulated all the values teaching that ever was.
But I am persuaded that it wasn't Jesus' words which so impressed those who lived in his day - and billions of people the world over since - it was the example of them that he showed in his own life, in the way he treated people.
That is the key, for I am persuaded that morals, ethics and values cannot be taught. They have always been, and will continue to be, absorbed by children from the actions and behaviour of the adults with whom they come in contact, particularly at home and at school. Which, of course, explains why so many of our children today are sadly lacking in any concept of morals, ethics or values.
(I would once have said "at church" as well, but so few children go near a church these days - and the churches have only themselves to blame for that - that in the context of this discussion it is as good as irrelevant.)
It is all very well to encourage parents to teach their children the values by which they should live, but if the parents themselves don't live by those values, they are wasting their time. It is all very well devising programmes by which teachers might teach values to children in schools, but if the teachers themselves don't exhibit those values in their own lives, the lessons will have no meaning for the children.
A great example of what I'm trying to say came this week from a reader who lives near Warkworth. She wrote: "My parents loved and cherished one another with courtesy and consideration all their long lives, putting one another and their children before themselves and helping and being helped by their sisters and brothers as the need arose.
"Mum's wise sayings, such as, 'Do unto others as you would be done by,' 'Honesty is the best policy,' 'A good name is more precious than rubies,' 'Look for the good in people,' 'Rejoice in another's good fortune, help them in their adversity,' epitomised the way she lived her busy life, supporting Dad, caring for six children and helping family, friends and neighbours in trouble ... Money was non-existent in my life as a child - love and caring were there in abundance."
That's how you teach children values.
Email: Garth George@herald.co.nz
<i>Dialogue:</i> Garth George
AdvertisementAdvertise with NZME.