Kay has been past this sign in Totara Park, Manukau, on and off for more than 15 years. "I have never once seen a lady in a long white lacy dress."
Tania writes: "My brother's first time out of the country was travelling in a van through Italy. I decided to fly over and travel with him for a bit. He told me to meet him in a place called Gallipoli, which is a very small village (hardly on the map) at the very south end of Italy. I asked him why he chose a place with the same name as Gallipoli in Turkey. He said when he started asking for directions to the Gallipoli memorial this is where he ended up. Fortunately Gallipoli, the Italian town, was on a beautiful beach and my brother did eventually get to the 'real' Gallipoli."
People seem to pack their togs, but not their brains when they go on holiday, says Dawn. While working at Auckland's Sky Tower, these were the common questions ...
* "Is that the South Island?" (gesturing towards Devonport).
* "Is that the Sydney Harbour Bridge?".
* "Is that the bridge between the North and South Islands?".
* "Why can't we see the Sky Tower from here?".
* "At what time does Rangitoto erupt?".
Joanne worked on a cruise ship for three years. "Captain, can you turn the engines off at night because I can't sleep," was a common request.
Not the time for Queensland
Mark Graham was sent an email marketing newsletter on Tuesday by Accor Hotels suggesting he take a break in Queensland. "I suspect they could have timed it a bit better and wonder if any of their marketing team pay attention to the news," he says.
Tough for 20-something guys
Plenty of readers emailed in to say the signs on Te Irirangi Drive in Botany prohibiting traffic under 3500kg during non-business hours are to deter boy racers and have a proviso "unless on legitimate business". This bylaw gives police a right to ticket them, move them along and stop large groups of spectators unless they can prove they are there for legitimate reasons. The long, straight, multi-lane road is perfect for drag racing. Must be difficult if you're a 20-something guy in a Skyline looking for a park in the area, eh?
Your Valentine's message
Trying to think of something different for Valentine's Day? How about sending a message to your beloved? Sideswipe will publish the best lovey-dovey, witty or imaginative messages (or Valentine's Day themed tales) on the day and the best entry will win gender stereotypical treats - a pair of Boh Runga for the New Zealand Mint 'Weapons of Mass Devotion' arrow earrings and pink champagne fragrance Ecoya's Love Candle. And for him, a Colonial Meat Pack with a 10kg ham and some Colonial Dry-cured Streaky Bacon ... plus, a selection of King of Shaves gear. Entries close on midday February 12. Please include your phone number. We'll call you if your message is to be published.