Doh! Spotted in a newly refurbished Countdown.
"My husband and I visited a cafe out west over the weekend. We had delicious meals but having a small appetite couldn't finish the scrummy pizza I'd ordered. Never mind, it would make a nice lunch for tomorrow so I told the waiter we'd like to take the leftovers home. When I got out to the car I noticed there were only 2 pieces in the takeout box. Where were the other 4 slices?
We went back in to talk to the person on the till and were told "oh sorry, the staff usually eat the leftovers". We were offered, as compensation, another diner's leftover margherita pizza. Yuck!"
My eyes are dim, I cannot see, I did not bring my specs with me
Mark writes: "Sitting at a restaurant, I have to take off my glasses to read the menu in the dimmed light. Then I have to put them back on to see my wife across the table. Then I have to swap glasses to drive home in the dark.
And you wonder why old people get grumpy?"
Joy to the world
Best uncharitable or self-serving tweets on the royal birth ...
Pizzahut tweeted: "Introducing our very own royal #bundleofjoy: free side or dessert to any medium or large pizza through 7/25."
Seven Sharp producer Mauricio Olmedo-Perez tweeted: "And another rich spoilt privileged white kid is born. Phew thought we were running out of them there for a second."
Letting safety slide
A reader writes: "This sign refers to a very long metal slide at Waikowhai Park in Mt Roskill. The really unbelievable part is that the council replaced a metal slide that burned all the children's bums with another slide. Yes, you guessed it, the new slide is also metal, hence the sign. Our children and in fact all the local kids know that the slide burns their backsides, so they use their sweatshirts to slide down it. It's only the poor visitors to the otherwise beautiful park who suffer."
Good read: As I wave 42 goodbye this weekend, here's some life advice that's pretty darn good. Read Shane Nickerson's 11 things it took me 42 years to learn...
Picture this #1: Kid gives top answer to the 'What will you be doing when you're 100 years old" question?
Picture this#2: The awkward years - adult posing with their awkward school portraits...
Video: Divers near California's Avila Beach had a close shave with some humpback whales who were feeding nearby. The whales opened their mouths to capture some small fish and almost inadvertently scooped up the divers.
Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at email@example.com