Sideswipe

A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: April 17: Spitting image

It's the spitting image of New Zealand. Photo / Supplied
It's the spitting image of New Zealand. Photo / Supplied

Nick Duirs writes: "A particularly patriotic puke produced by my 10-month-old, Oscar. 100 per cent unedited (apart from where he swiped his hand through Cape Reinga). If you look closely you can even see Banks Peninsula!!

What a blue!

"I recall one Christmas struggling with bags and parcels outside The Farmers store in Hobson St, Auckland," writes Tony. "In a desperate attempt to get a cab in pouring rain I rushed up to the first car and fumbled for the handle. I slid my bags across the rear seat and flopped down. Without looking up I said, "Sandringham Rd please". After a few seconds, I leaned back and looked at the driver who was staring straight at me, wearing a very familiar uniform. In my haste, I had jumped into a police car!"

Missing link

Gabrielle Raife swears this is a true story: "Standing at the counter of our local petrol station (Beach Haven, Auckland), the lady in front asked if she could hire a trailer.

"You'll have to show me how to put it on though, because I've never done it." "Sure", the man behind the counter said, asking which car was hers - she pointed to it mentioning the colour. He goes out, and comes back in saying: "Oh, I'm afraid you'll need a tow bar."

Birth a la mode

While our Government can't even sort a decent amount of paid parental leave, in France new mothers get 10-20 free sessions of "la reeducation perineale" (vaginal re-toning to restore pre-pregnancy condition, a "cornerstone of French post-natal care" according to Slate.com). The sessions involve exercises to rebuild muscles and is designed not only for general health but to strengthen women for bearing more children.

They won't get fooled again

Having secured the services of surviving Who members Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend, London Olympics officials made a special request: Could Keith Moon also perform? Moon has been dead for 34 years. The Who's drummer died in 1978 after ingesting 32 sedative tablets. The band's manager, Bill Curbishley said: "I emailed saying Keith now resides in Golders Green crematorium, having lived up to the Who's anthemic line, 'I hope I die before I get old'. If they have a round table and some glasses, we might contact him."

You've been busted, Fridge Man

Fridge on bonnet - "My partner and I also saw this car," writes Tash. "We drove up the footpath to avoid him while seeing him go up the rear of a car on Brandon Rd with a big grin on his face. I have his rego if anyone owns the parked silver car with the munted bumper."

- NZ Herald

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