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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: June 2: Hard sell on ugly couch

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
1 Jun, 2017 05:00 PM2 mins to read

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This TradeMe listing written by a gifted salesperson. Photo / Supplied

This TradeMe listing written by a gifted salesperson. Photo / Supplied

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Hard sell on ugly couch

This TradeMe listing, written by a gifted salesperson, didn't convince Alasdair Scott to bid on the retro lounge suite, reminiscent of a '70s caravan squab. "After waiting patiently for nearly fifty years, it's finally coming back into fashion," writes the owner, optimistically.

"Lovingly crafted out of solid mahogany, this classic furniture set will outlast any modern offering on the market today. Comfortable, stylish and with two complimentary hand-made cushions, this piece will be a talking point among your other classic, carefully selected furniture.

"If you think that's all, you're mistaken. With a few quick clicks, this sofa folds down to a comfortable double bed - ideal for when those pesky guests refuse to leave. As a veteran, you would expect there to be some serious damage to this suite. However, given a very careful owner, combined with the strength and vitality infused into its design, there are only a few minor scratches and holes in the fabric - nothing to worry too much about.

"Call them furniture's equivalent to age spots. The seller was tempted to put this classic, retro suite to a closed tender process, but instead decided to rely on New Zealanders' sense of fair play to reimburse the owner for five decades of care. And to pass on the mantle so it can be enjoyed for another 50 years. Farewell friend."

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Softness without borders

"Trump" brand toilet paper. Photo / Supplied
"Trump" brand toilet paper. Photo / Supplied

A Mexican businessman offended by President Donald Trump's insults to his countrymen is seizing on a possible oversight in the magnate's branding plans. Corporate lawyer Antonio Battaglia is introducing "Trump" brand toilet paper, marketed under the slogans "Softness without borders" and "This is the wall that, yes, we will pay for". Mexico's Institute of Industrial Property has granted Trump's company trademarks on his name in many sectors but not what's referred to in Spanish as "hygienic paper". Packages are expected to begin rolling off production lines later this year, with 30 per cent of profits promised to programmes supporting migrants.

Last word

Maurice writes: "Years ago, I was driving with a friend and he said the marker posts/delineators were called 'honeymoon sticks'. I asked why - so he drove over one and as we looked behind us, it popped straight back up again."

This shocker spotted in Melbourne. What else can it mean? Photo / Supplied
This shocker spotted in Melbourne. What else can it mean? Photo / Supplied

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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