Sideswipe: April 10: Smallest fence ever

World's smallest fence spotted in Papakura. Energetic Marcus Lush is circumnavigating Auckland by foot. Keep up with where he is and what he sees on Twitter @SkirtAuckland. Photo / Supplied
World's smallest fence spotted in Papakura. Energetic Marcus Lush is circumnavigating Auckland by foot. Keep up with where he is and what he sees on Twitter @SkirtAuckland. Photo / Supplied

Chuckles about town

1) "Great high-vis gear," said a pedestrian as Debra Lee waited on her bike at the lights, clad in yellow. "Yes," she replied with a smile, "nobody could miss me." To which his companion cheerfully piped up: "Somebody will."

2) "I don't usually ask for a tax invoice, but at a cafe in Mt Eden I did," writes a reader. "I noticed that we had been charged for butter for our two hot cross buns. User pays, I guess!"

Whatever happened to Doctor Doctor and Nurse Nurse?

"Does this snippet from the Sydney Morning Herald's Column 8 ring any bells in Waikanae?" asks Eric Shackle. "My wife's uncle, John Doctor, an ENT surgeon, married a professional colleague, a Miss Nurse. This nuptial union took Waikanae by storm. 'Doctor Doctor marries Nurse Nurse!' Worthy esteem and a profound cheer-up for a remote corner of the mid-1940s Empire ..." There must be an interesting update to that story, concludes Eric. "Did Nurse Nurse (who became Nurse Doctor after her marriage) get to nurse any children?" Please email Sideswipe, we'd love to know.

Toys in police arsenal

On Monday, Doug shared a yarn about a police car trying to rush to an urgent callout with an officer in the front seat making siren-like noises into the microphone. Retired police officer Grant explains: "In the mid-80s we were changing from grey cars to white. Sirens weren't allowed. The passenger's job was to use the PA, and say 'excuse me, excuse me' while trying to sound like a siren. Back then the lights were two see-through blue buckets that spun slowly, with a 'taxi' light in the middle saying 'police'. Even worse, we bought children's sirens once from a toy shop (as well as water guns for a water fight), and were offered a discount for being armed services. We would hold the child's toy against the microphone for the pa so we had a real siren."

Light-protected milk a con

"Not only does the new Anchor bottle hide how much milk I have left, but I don't get the idea that it blocks out light," says Mike Honey. "Along with most people (I hope), I store my milk in the fridge. The fridge door may be open, or the milk on the bench, for maybe 30 minutes in total each day. For the other 23.5 hours it is in my fridge with the door closed. My unlit fridge. (As a lad I conducted the age-old experiment to prove that the fridge light goes out when the door closes). So this cunning plan to add a couple of days to the best-before date is an absolute con job."

Politics of death: Even in death Margaret Thatcher was divisive - some mourned while others danced in the streets; even CNN couldn't help but show its bias by showing photos of Thatcher alongside Jimmy Saville.

Picture this: If you look closely, you can see an image of Jesus (or a cat, if you're an atheist).

Quick clip: Two bikes, one puddle and beautiful syncronisation

TV: This man is obsessed with being a merman...

Local: The Auckland Council are wanting you to faff about with their online housing simulator and work out a solution for them on where to build the estimated 400,000 homes to accommodate the increasing number of JAFAs needing digs in the coming decades.

Video: The guy in this Human Chair Scare Prank is a bit of a tool.

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at

- NZ Herald

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