Rebecca Kamm

Poking a stick at ladies' issues, pop culture, and other cutting-edge curiosities.

Rebecca Kamm: Fairy tales to give you baby fever

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The Singaporean Fairytale version of Alice in Wonderland. Illustration / The Singaporean Fairytale
The Singaporean Fairytale version of Alice in Wonderland. Illustration / The Singaporean Fairytale

Once upon a time there was a country called Singapore whose government grew worried about its aging population and low birthrate, and wanted to persuade young women to get on with breeding. Its authorities sat around for a bit, then hired some arty undergrads to create a collection of really blatant "fairy tales" about how getting married and having babies is the BEST THING EVER, DO IT DO IT DO ITTTT.

Amazingly, prior attempts to hammer the message home, like government-funded dating schemes and educational flyers on how to flirt, didn't do the job. So now it was time to think strategically and deliver baby fever through a medium smart young ladies really engage with on a daily basis, and definitely didn't leave behind when they were five years old.

Without further ado, highlights:

Alice in Wonderland

She wears a crop top with YOLO on it! She smokes a cigarette! She is "wild and reckless" and "gives up her cash to fly around rash"! Basically, Alice is an utter disaster of a woman/rules, who zooms from one party to the next with not a care in the world. Especially not for the biological clock inside her, with its droopy hands going round and round sadly and forever. Which is maybe a good thing? Because Alice is definitely not ready to have babies - she stands up in the passenger seat to drive her car, for goodness sake.

Rapunzel

Rapunzel is the first cartoon in a long while (25 years?) I've actually felt sorry for. Firstly, look at her face - that is the worst hangover of all time. Also, some short and yearning twerp wearing a paper birthday hat is trying to grab her. Then, to top it all off, the government doesn't even blame HIM for stalky behaviour - it blames HER, because he can't reach, and because he'd need an extended loan from his dad to afford an apartment in her complex. Outrageous.

Jack and Jill

Does Jack's ego ever have a tough time of it, what with Jill getting her "first class honours" as they're cruising up the hill together. "Up Jack got, and home did trot" - and fair enough, too. Girl-brains, ugh. P.S. Jack wears MAC crème blusher in Sweetheart.

Golden Goose

One day, your "egg-making device" will be "rusty and old". Yes, be in no doubt, ladies: your eggs be witherin'.

Snow White

She is "the richest of them all" because she has seven children. Barf.

Obviously, there's no better way to make women want babies than to treat them like babies, so nine months from now the rewards shall be reaped, and Singapore flush with fresh gurglers. The End.

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