Some are gagged while others are forced to speak

Freedom of speech was alive and well in Parliament yesterday - but for a limited time only.

When Labour MPs turned up with signs on their folders supporting Parliamentary Services staff in their quest for pay rises, the Speaker was quick to order they remove them within the hour.

As human rights activist Rebiya Kadeer looked on from the public gallery, the MPs proceeded to bicker about whether this was justified.

The Speaker's argument was that signs stating "Fair Pay for PS Staff" were as demeaning of Parliament as any other signs. He emphasised this with a stirring soliloquy about the wars men had fought in to ensure Parliament could remain a free place.

Labour Whip Darren Hughes attempted to argue there was little difference between Prime Minister John Key being able to show support for something he believed in by wearing a small pink breast cancer ribbon, and the Labour MPs' efforts to show support for workers.

Smith begged to differ, stating there was indeed a difference between a pink ribbon for breast cancer and a sign taking sides in an industrial dispute. He laid down his ruling - the signs had to go by the end of the Question Time hour.

Having gagged people who did not want to be gagged, Smith then forced others who clearly preferred to stay silent to speak out.

Gerry Brownlee was scolded for saying too little and ordered to answer a question more fully when grilled about the Rugby World Cup television rights bid.

In another question on the same matter, Chris Finlayson was scolded for saying too much after heading perilously close to reciting Neil Finn's description of a previous music awards show as "resembl[ing] a Labour Party Conference, complete with red balloons".

Things move on from Nanny Speaker to Nanny State, and Labour quizzes the Government on the need to ban over-counter sales of cold tablets when it could have had - free - a computer database to instead track sales of the cursed pseudoephedrine.

This prompts Key to point out that the database was not only ineffective in Australia, but would be worse in New Zealand because "most pharmacies don't have broadband".

Unfortunately for Key, one ofthe next questions is one Nationalhas set up so Steven Joyce can gloat about the big spend-up on getting broadband into all corners of theland. He talks about improving coverage to 97 per cent of New Zealand households and enterprises.

"Except pharmacies!" Hughes notes.

Question Time draws to a close and most offending signs are removed. One remains - Chris Carter's. The Speaker fails to notice - but National's Louise Upston does. Only trouble - Carter isn't actually there and neighbour Trevor Mallard won't touch it without permission.

The Speaker finally orders Hughes to do it, inviting an exasperated, "This is like school!"

Remarkably, nobody is actually hurled out during the hour. The news is not so good for National's Tau Henare later, after Rick Barker has taken over from Smith. Henare is sent from the chamber for refusing to apologise for calling Labour's Pete Hodgson a "scumbag".