Sideswipe

A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: November 9: No role but a nice cuppa

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There are plenty of copies of the badly written sadomasochistic novel Fifty Shades of Grey for sale on Trade Me but this inventive trader is the only seller with bids. Photo / Supplied
There are plenty of copies of the badly written sadomasochistic novel Fifty Shades of Grey for sale on Trade Me but this inventive trader is the only seller with bids. Photo / Supplied

Maureen from Onehunga writes: "I was an applicant for a role at Bell Tea and Coffee Company recently. In due course I received an email advising I was unsuccessful. It read: 'We are genuinely sorry that we couldn't offer you an interview this time, but as a token of our appreciation for your interest in working for Bell Tea and Coffee Company, we enclose a little something to assist you in your job search (Bell Tea sachets). All super heroes need a little pick-me-up from time to time and our Bell Kenya Bold tea is especially designed to do just that!' All too often these days we don't even receive an acknowledgement to job applications. So well done, Bell, for making a small kindness. It is pretty tough out there for jobseekers."

This vintage is off
Jane writes: "I was out west at a friend's for dinner and we popped into the local wine shop to get a bottle. I came up to the counter and the young guy was suppressing a laugh.

Never one to let things go, I asked him what he was laughing at. Nothing, he said, as terror flashed across his face. I pressed him and he gingerly said he was going to ask me for ID. Flattered, I laughed and told him that I was actually 42 years old (I'd always thought I looked young for my age). He quickly explained that he knew I wasn't really underage and that was the joke. Cheeky bugger."

Vital statistics
A beauty contest for college students in China's Hubei province outlined certain entry criteria which, according to a report in China's Global Post, included: "The space between the candidate's pupils should be 46 per cent of the distance between each pupil and the nearer ear, and the distance between a candidate's nipples should be at least 20cm."

Funny business (the absolute last hurrah!)
1. An engine reconditioner in Auckland, situated under the Victoria Park flyover, had an advertising hoarding level with the cars on the flyover which asked. "Piston broke?"
2. A kebab van in Swindon, UK, called Jason Donervan.
3. There is a sheetmetal place in Henderson called Nip Tuck. And a furnishings firm in New Lynn called Surface with a Smile.
4. During the 1990s, three of the Air NZ management staff at Rarotonga were Paul Swann, John Pheasant and Seth Bird.

Grateful damsel in distress
"I'd like to say a huge thanks to the two lovely gents who stopped and pushed my broken-down car on the Auckland Harbour Bridge on Wednesday morning," writes Kristyn. "Such random acts of kindness shouldn't go unnoticed. So thank you to the lovely gent in the blue van and thank you to the lovely gent in the Chorus van! I would have been a complete mess without their help and kindness."

Goodvertising: Ad creatives in Ireland are channelling their frustration over dumb client feedback into an art exhibition. Many in the industry have designed an A3 poster of their favourite worst feedback from clients and then give all the proceeds to charity.

Video: Imagine being married to this guy...

TV: A new series of the critically acclaimed, constantly profane BBC comedy In the Thick Of It starts tonight on UK TV at 9pm (here's what you're in for NSFW language)

Classic clip: Penguin's leap of faith.

* Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

- NZ Herald

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