Stories making headlines across New Zealand at noon include a "Bond Girl" showing up in Tauranga, Federated Farmers doing its best to block local councils from making decisions about genetically modified organisms and have you seen a kakabeak?
After unsuccessfully trying to kill James Bond after he found the miniature pistol between her legs, Rachel Grant ended up in Tauranga.
Federated Farmers opposes Hawke's Bay becoming a genetically modified (GM) free food producing region because they reckon it's their god-given right to decide if they want to use GM technology. If they do, they will apparently need to stock up on pesticides big time.
Meanwhile Zelka Grammer claims Northland council deliberately deleted previous wording from a policy document that could ring-fence the region from GMOs.
Chances are you've never encountered the very rare and endangered kakabeak.
Whangarei Heads residents are worried the Presbyterian church at McLeod Bay is about to become someone's bach.
This is what happens when you don't get your dog treated for scabies.
After entering the Clive Hotel carrying a screwdriver, hammer and bayonet and subsequently being tasered by police, Bryan Arthur Cross has been told to behave himself for a year.
Meanwhile the children of Papamoa Free Kindergarten love getting their hands dirty.
After buying some KFC in Hastings, Clinton Timoteo Vaiusu allegedly broke a mans jaw in two places and knocked his teeth out.
Maria Winitana has lived at the Flaxmere Swansea Village flats for many years and has no problem with the state of the complex. Meanwhile they are demolishing more state houses in Hawke's Bay.
Two lucky Northland teens will have the chance to get free braces but there's a catch.
Karen Edwards is living every parent's worst nightmare.
After a serious car crash near Reporoa, the call went out for Mandarin speaking residents in the community to help. The driver of a car allegedly performed a U-turn in front of the rental van full of Chinese tourists and then did a runner.
The verdict is in on how a navy barge grounded in Whangarei.
Siow Hong Kuik, also known as Desmond, had tears rolling down his face after being rescued from Te Urewera bush where he wandered lost for three days. His wife, Sue Kuik, also cried as she told her kids "Papa is coming home".
Eastern Bay of Plenty police are making no apologies for maintaining pressure on gang members and their associates.
The Wa 165 heritage train will continue its run to Muriwai and back but under its own steam.
Even if every vehicle that stopped at the fatal car crash on Saturday night had been equipped with a fire extinguisher, they would not have been able to extinguish the blaze.
Taranaki Regional Council is trying to convince residents that local river swimming spots are not as badly polluted as a Ministry of Environment report says. Apparently "rain washing all kinds of contaminants from roofs" is a big part of the problem.
Meanwhile Wanganui is apparently in line for worldwide recognition as an intelligent community.
The community turned out in force to the Mauriceville School Pet Day.
In Christchurch, Rotarians are planning to plant bright, cheerful flowers on empty sites across Christchurch.
In Ashburton, they are debating plans that will "blindfold children from smoking."
Meanwhile after learning he had scored nearly a million dollars for research into tidal turbine farms, Dr Ross Vennell celebrated by buying some fish and chips.
There's apparently a fine line between working too hard and having a stress-free life.
Nearly half a million people have apparently looked at a 100 year old mugshot of this Dunedin criminal which was posted online.
"Why is there a baby being breast-fed in my courtroom?" asked Judge Kevin Phillips, in what appears to be a precedent setting question.
After attacking a customer and finishing with a "football kick'' to the head, McDonalds manager Rishi Kumar then "quite calmly'' grabbed a bucket of water and returned to the scene of the incident to clean up the victim's blood.
When the cops caught up with 17 year old speedster Jefferey Ley, he told them "It's just Hampden, I thought I could drive fast."
Grant Paul Holmes' shortcut home along the railway tracks in Oamaru didn't go so well.
Meanwhile two British miners apparently lured to the West Coast with the promise of jobs for life with Solid Energy and now face being booted out of the country say "Even Margaret Thatcher showed more compassion."
Top trending topics on Twitter in NZ at noon were: #Z100playjanoskians, #IAdmitThat, iPad, #SivaFollowSpree, Apple, iMac, PLL, Auckland, Christmas and Twitter.