Stories making headlines in the provinces today include half naked Mozzies (aka Maori Aussies) starring in an Australian reality TV show, kindergarten children gate crashing a white kiwi's birthday party and Papamoa residents besieged by nudists have now been fenced in by a property developer.
Hawke's Bay's long association with bikinis continues tonight on TV3 with two local boys starring in a new reality TV show based in Australia which predictably features bikini clad women and half naked men. Muscle bound Rotorua-born Ngahere "Nuz" Ngatai, who likes posing with his shirt off, hopes making it on The GC will help his music career.
As if annoying nudists weren't enough, Papamoa residents have now been fenced in by a property developer and are living in fear of not being able to escape a tsunami.
Meanwhile Bay of Plenty council staff innocently pumping smoke into the sewers have caused the evacuation of the Westpac Building.
Campers at the beautiful Lake Okaro Reserve are now allowed to pitch tents.
Rotorua whiz kid Baxter Johnson is a finalist in an international online science fair with a project which saw his father scaling their two-storey home while holding a water container.
Kaikohe Hotel owner Neal Summers - who made history in 2008 for being the first Northlander to be prosecuted under the-then four-year-old Smokefree Environments Act - has had the title taken away from him after a remarkable 5 year court battle.
It has been revealed vivacious MasterChef contestant Zee Tana is a coeliac disease sufferer, and when he told everyone he was gay at age 21: "No-one really cared. They just asked, 'What's for dinner?"
A Mongrel Mob member's "unauthorised stealing" of a Black Power car in Wairoa resulted in the gangsters arming themselves to the teeth and going on "red alert" at their Wairoa "pad" when a man with links to Black Power showed up and was shot by 40 shotgun pellets, the Crown has alleged.
If you want to take a driving test, don't go to Taihape.
In the Wairarapa, Manukura the white kiwi turned one yesterday, but when her party was gatecrashed by a busload of excited kindergarten children she spat the dummy and refused to come out and eat her special worm cake.
Off the coast, oil exploration blocks are set to go without any consultation.
Moments after hearing a bang, the partner of a Christchurch man who suffered severe burns in a bonfire accident made the terrible discovery he was ablaze.
A builder who repaired his earthquake-damaged Kaiapoi home only to have it written off in the red zone died suddenly while competing in a cycle race at the weekend.
A digger has demolished the last trace of how Ashburton used to look in the 1800s. Meanwhile there's a nervous wait to see how many people show up to a rally calling for a halt to construction of the new Ashburton art gallery-museum.
An unpaid bill for $25,000 worth of food and drink, accrued at an Otago Rugby Football Union black-tie dinner just months before the union admitted facing liquidation, has been labelled "scandalous" and "obscene". Meanwhile Otago Rugby Football Union members Wayne Graham and Laurie Mains are suing the Dunedin Mayor.
And an inebriated Ikamatua man who gate crashed a church service in Greymouth with a mate punched in a glassed window when told to leave, cutting his arm, and then he sprayed blood all over a woman as he tried to wrest a cellphone from her when she called the police. Meanwhile freedom camping has been outlawed in the Grey District.
Top trending topics on Twitter in New Zealand at Noon include: #nzqt, #WaysToImpressMe, #ThatsWhatIWant, The Dark Knight Rises, John Wright, Wayne Smith, May Day, Rhys Darby, Parliament and Jessica Simpson.