Nasty spat over online tributes

Hayden Miles. Photo / supplied

A heated row erupted last night after the grieving mother of murdered Christchurch teenager Hayden Miles asked that online tribute sites from his friends be removed.

A 27-year-old Christchurch man has been charged with murdering Hayden on August 22, while he was under Child, Youth and Family care.

Police have recovered human remains from a city cemetery near a former "tinny house" where Hayden was last seen alive and which has been subjected to intense police forensic scrutiny over the past fortnight.

The teen's family have been maintaining a dignified silence until the remains found at Ruru Lawn Cemetery, in Bromley, on Tuesday are formally identified.

But mates of the 15-year-old have created a Facebook tribute page, 'R.I.P Hayden Miles xx', to express their emotions.

This weekend Hayden's mother Jacqui took offence to the page - despite posting messages to her boy on another, very similar site - and asked pals behind it to take it down.

The youngsters refused to back down, sparking a furious war of words.

The page administrator posted: "I am not taking this page down. We have a right to have pages where we can write messages for Hayden. We were his friends. We're upset too. So stop your bulls***."

The administrator later added: "To those telling me to delete this page NO I WILL NOT. As Hayden's friends we have the right to share memories and so on. His mother who wasn't even a mother to him can't tell his friends to basically stop caring. I did this because I care, so I won't delete this page, end of discussion."

The site was flooded with emotional support.

One poster, Jess Waho-Dixon, said: "So it's all about his mum is it, what about Hayden? He's dead! Grow up and realise that there's absolutely nothing wrong with this page and the person who made it is a lovely friend! It's not up to his mum, it's up to him and to be honest I think he would've loved this page."

Hope Elizabeth Mckenzie waded in with: "Don't delete this page! You have every right to keep it and share your thoughts!! It's very sad that people telling you to ! R.I.P Hayden xx."

Paul Garfield Bakker added: "Who would be callous enough to say take the page down! shame on you."

Jessey Ellis said: "We didn't want him gone, and this is how we are grieving, is that so bad?"

The online postings sparked a furious response from friends of Jacqui Miles.

The most vociferous came from Liivy Olivia, who said: "If it's what his mum wants then just f****** do it and stop being disrespectful!

"Can't yous imagine what his mum is going through and all yous care about is putting post up that can wait!"

She gained support from Kelly Black who wrote: "Yous should seriously respect the mother in all of this ... yeah you're right his friends have a right to grieve but the family should come first, a mother has just lost her son, how would you feel if you were in her position? think about it guys."

After hours of abusive tit-for-tat postings, the page was finally moderated yesterday.

Jacqui Miles declined to publicly discuss the online debate with media yesterday. But she posted on another page: "How do I say goodbye to my boy? Love u soo much xxx."

Last night, there were five separate memorial pages to Hayden on Facebook alone.

A 27-year-old man has been charged with his murder, an 18-year-old woman is accused of being an accessory after the fact, a 35-year-old man is charged with robbing Hayden of a cask of wine on August 22 - the last day he was seen alive.