Eric Thompson: How to drive 'em wild

The Dodge Challenger is definitely a babe magnet. Photo / Supplied
The Dodge Challenger is definitely a babe magnet. Photo / Supplied

The Dodge Challenger is definitely a babe magnet. Most blokes have wondered what women like, generally in the hope that working it out will translate into a second date.

Some, however, think they know what appeals to women and strut their stuff completely oblivious to the possibility that the ladies think they're complete idiots.

When it come to blokes and cars, nine and a half blokes out of 10 get it wrong when thinking they are driving a babe magnet, but can't work out why they spend most of the time driving around aimlessly on their own, or with man friends.

In my other job I lecture in brand architecture, among other things, at Massey University's Auckland School of Design, and as such have access to a large number of female students aged 18 to 21.

So in an effort to gain some empirical evidence as to what women want a man to drive I put together a simple survey and asked around 40 female students the following very simple questions.

Question one: If a bloke pulled up outside your house to take you on a date, what sort of car would you not open the door for?

Question two: If a bloke pulled up outside your house to take you on a date, what sort of car would you sprint down the driveway to leap into?

The results, to me anyway, weren't that surprising, but I can tell you - there'll be a whole heap of blokes up and down the country who don't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting anywhere near first base.

So, in a rare act of kindness I'm now going to let all young men know how to improve your chances of getting the girls of your respective dreams to go cruising with you.

If you want to remain a bachelor, or are considering a career as a monk, pull up outside her door in a Toyota Prius, Nissan March, Suzuki Swift, Alteza, mum's car, Subaru Forester, Toyota Levin or any low-rider car, VW Polo or Toyota Rav-4 to name some of the less than popular models.

If you want the girl to think you may have potential, try getting your hands on one of the following: Holden R8, black Range Rover Sport, black Nissan Skyline R34 (there's always the exception that makes the rule), Alfa Romeo, Audi, BMW, Jeep, Toyota Hi-Lux, Dodge Challenger, a Mustang or any old-school American car.

So there you have it boys. The biggest hate was the lowered Japanese car with a loud exhaust and booming stereo system driven really slowly.

A piece of advice: sensible girls do not want to be paraded around town at 5km/h in a car with no suspension and which can hardly negotiate a speed hump.

Outside the university there is a speed hump. One lunchtime as I was waiting to cross the road, one of the low-rider things was driving along popping, banging, wheezing and farting like an old man on his last legs.

I expected the driver to slow down as he approached the speed hump, as you couldn't have fitted a cigarette paper under the front valance. I was mistaken. I think he was distracted by trying to work out which way around a baseball cap is supposed to go and one of his passengers shouting at him over the music. I realised he hadn't noticed the speed hump so I decided not to cross the road but watch in anticipation. Fibreglass makes such a good sound and mess when it's ripped from other bodywork.

Sure enough, the front of the car smacked into the speed hump, and because the car had little or no suspension, the entire front end was ripped off. Not only did I laugh out loud, but nearly dropped the lunch in my hands as the passengers' heads all whacked into the roof as the car lurched over the speed bump and crashed down on to the other side. By the time it rolled to a halt, all manner of paraphernalia from under the car had been left behind. Still, at least his wheels looked nice.

I doubt he'll be picking up too many hot chicks in the near future.

Just to prove I'm really not that mean-spirited, I'll pass on some of the other information I gleaned from my chats with the female students.

Other big turn-offs on a first date is road rage - just don't go there.

Driving drunk or going too fast. Doing both at the same time is a definite date-breaker.

Going too slow. It might be your nan's car but there's no need to drive like her.

Running out of petrol. Nice try, but that works only in the movies. If you can't afford petrol how can you afford her?

Not being able to change a flat tyre. And just don't ask her to do it, which would be really embarrassing if she did do it.

Full-blown stereo in the boot turned up loud. The best way to get to know a girl is to talk to her and listen to what she has to say. A winner every time.

Inability to parallel park. Again, you don't want her to show you up.

Wearing a baseball cap backwards while driving - it looks plain silly.

Wearing driving gloves - unless you're taking your new date on a rally or a track day, just don't.

There you have it. And it's all about them, not you. Good luck.

- NZ Herald

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