Kerre Woodham: Old coots in cool cars don't win women over

A pig with lipstick is still a pig and it appears an overweight old guy with a comb-over in a Porsche is still an overweight old guy with a comb-over.

Despite what the Mad Men from the advertising agencies told car manufacturers all those years ago - that sports cars with phallic bonnets and exhausts would undoubtedly attract the ladies - a survey conducted by Top Gear Australia has found that women do not, in fact, find sad old men more attractive if they have nice cars.

No wonder so many car companies have gone bust. Researchers tested the brain responses of women towards a range of men depending on the car they drove. The old coots in the expensive car barely rated a second glance, the hot surfer boy was rated attractive even without a car.

So buy the car if you're fulfilling a lifelong dream. But if you're only squeezing yourself into a sports car to become a chick magnet, better to go to the gym.

* www.kerrewoodham.com