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Home / Kahu

Don't touch! Baby bumps off-limits, say midwives, after pregnant Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern's abdomen was touched by a stranger at Ratana Pa

Cherie Howie
By Cherie Howie
Reporter·Herald on Sunday·
3 Feb, 2018 04:00 PM6 mins to read

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Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern visits Ratana

As her hand touched Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern's pregnant belly, Chelsea Manuel immediately felt a twinge of regret.

"I thought ... 'oh my goodness, what did I do?'", the mum-of-seven said.

A parliamentary services' MP support worker who had only once, briefly, met Ardern before, Manuel touched the Prime Minister's abdomen as she formally welcomed her onto the marae at Ratana Pa last week.

Ardern, who is five months pregnant with her first child, was gracious, Manuel told the Herald on Sunday this week.

"She gave me a big hug and had a bit of a giggle and put her arm around me, and that's how we walked towards the marae, so I felt really comfortable that she also felt safe and comfortable with me doing that."

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Ardern wouldn't comment, but it's something she will undoubtedly have to deal with again in the coming months. And midwives said she was far from alone in her experience.

The midwives said there was no excuse for unwanted touching — in fact, a police spokeswoman confirmed it could be investigated as assault, although she was not aware of any previous complaints — but they also said the desire to touch the baby bumps of expectant mums came, in most cases, from a place of love and a desire to connect with new life.

Chelsea Manuel touches Jacinda Ardern's belly as she welcomes the Prime Minister on to the marae at Ratana Pa.
Chelsea Manuel touches Jacinda Ardern's belly as she welcomes the Prime Minister on to the marae at Ratana Pa.

That was why she touched the Prime Minister's belly, Manuel said.

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Her culture and upbringing taught her to embrace and acknowledge others, including "babies in the tummies of their mothers", although she was not thinking that when she touched Ardern.

"It just happened. I didn't even think about it. I was just overwhelmed that we were so blessed to be in the presence of our Prime Minister, who for me is a really beautiful soul, and to know that she is now the carrier of such a treasure ... I was moved by my spirit, and also by being able to connect with her and with that beautiful baby that we were welcoming onto our marae as well.

"I'm so sorry if I have caused anything. I hope I haven't offended anybody."

Nga Maia Maori Midwives Aotearoa chief executive Jean Te Huia said she'd heard many stories from expectant mums of people touching their baby bumps without permission.

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Pregnancy etiquette had been lost, Te Huia said, so people now felt they could make comments and questions about expectant mums' size, length of gestation or birth plans.

"People feel an intense interest in pregnant women and their puku and anything that's coming out of there. But does that really give you permission to touch somebody?"

Ardern is already popular — crowds of fans regularly surround her, some touching her, at public events.

Celebrities can well attest to the desire of others to touch the famous, including Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt star Ellie Kemper, who told American media she had been touched on the belly while pregnant.

Photo of Ellie Kemper as Kimmy Schmidt in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
Photo of Ellie Kemper as Kimmy Schmidt in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

"I don't know what goes through a person's mind, a stranger's mind, no less, when they think, 'Oh yes, your stomach is now something that belongs to me and I can touch it'."

CNN reported in 2013 that a Pennsylvania man could face harassment charges after twice touching the belly of a pregnant stranger, who complained to police.

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Over the Atlantic, royal etiquette should protect the Duchess of Cambridge, pregnant with her third child, from unwanted touching.

Outsiders are supposed to limit touching of the Royal family to handshakes only, although several people, from Michelle Obama to two Australian Prime Ministers, have fallen foul.

Te Huia said in her 24 years as a midwife pregnancy had gone from something not especially visible, to something — thanks to more photos of pregnant bellies and more revealing clothes — much more visible.

"It's beautiful, it's how we've moved and I suppose, well, has that physical exposure of the tummy then given permission for people to say 'oh look, she's hapu and she's proud of it and there's her puku showing and we can touch it. Maybe that?"

She understood people's desire to connect with the excitement of a new baby, but permission was a must.

"I think generally they're coming from a sense of love and support."

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New Zealand College of Midwives midwifery advisor Alison Eddy said she had experienced unwanted belly touching when pregnant herself, and as a midwife had heard many similar stories from other women.

"It can be complete strangers in public places. It's unacceptable. It does seem there's a public ownership in pregnancy, but it wouldn't be acceptable if you weren't pregnant."

A better way to support pregnant women was to offer congratulations and support.

If a woman realised someone was about to touch them without permission, she could turn away and, politely but firmly, tell the person no, Eddy said.

On question and answer website Quora, a poster said there could be social-evolutionary reasons for all members of a community to feel protective towards a pregnant woman, and to feel a pregnancy was a common social asset of the group.

Autonomy — a woman's right to be free of touching — was a more recent value, the poster wrote.

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In the last six months the #MeToo movement for social change over unwanted sexual touching has also spread around the world, sparked by allegations of sexual misconduct by powerful Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein and dozens of other powerful figures.

University of Waikato clinical psychology training director Carrie Cornsweet Barber said she was not aware of any research on unwanted baby bump touching.

She didn't know why people did it, but thought some might sense the unborn baby was going to be a part of a community, and they wanted to connect with that.

"I do think usually it's well intentioned, so it is a sort of innate 'it takes a village and ok, now I'm trying to help you'. It doesn't necessarily come across as helpful."

She had not experienced unwanted touching while pregnant, but had heard stories from others.

"It's interesting, that experience that many people talk about, of becoming public property when you're pregnant. People intrude in a way, whether it's verbal or physical, that they wouldn't otherwise."

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