Prepare yourself for some parenting comedy gold.
Father Ben Patterson has posted a hilarious series of texts on Facebook, explaining what happened during a family car ride after he swapped vehicles with his wife to take home their son.
While the trip was meant to be uneventful, it turned into a projectile-vomiting nightmare for this frenzied dad which has been shared more than 90,000 times online.
"Last night I was supposed to watch the kids, so my wife and I swapped cars after work so she could head out with some friends. On the way home, projectile vomit occurred and the whole time my wife wasn't answering her phone ... See the ensuing text messages," he posted as a prelude to the messages that were shown in screenshots.
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"I just pulled over and am trying not to throw up on myself ... I just threw up trying to clean him up ... It smells SO BAD," the exchange began.
We'll let you read the following texts for yourselves.
As you can see, Ben admits he vomited on the lawn of a stranger.
"I'm puking on some lady's lawn in Burlingame and she comes out to ask me if I'm drunk while driving the kids .... I'm trying to explain that I'm a sympathetic vomiter and can't handle the smell. This is SO BAD" he texted.
But things were set to get even worse, with the police turned up to breathalyse him.
"Aaaaand now the cops showed up ... Aaaaand now a breathalyzer ... YOU OWE ME SO BIG."
But there was a happy ending to this coarse car ride ...
"At least I passed the breathalyser," he texted.
That's the spirit Ben!