Kai Kuehne show wraps up Berlin Fashion Week

Kai Kuehne, the final show of Berlin Fashion Week had just ended and I was walking out of the backstage area with Steve when he stopped abruptly in front of me.

A striking elderly woman shrouded in charcoal cloth grabbed his hand and said in thick accented English: "David! David, is that you?"

"Verushka my dear," replied Steve, "how are you? It's me Steve."

"Oh!" She gasped. "Steve, I'm so sorry. I thought you were David."

We were in the presence of Verushka von Lehndorf - Germany's answer to Twiggy - and she'd just mistaken Steve Wood for David Bailey.

Besides maybe one major show to close the event, the final day of most Fashion Weeks is generally reserved for those designers you could afford to miss.

The reason for the big bang at the end? To keep media and buyers around - otherwise they'd all bugger off on the second to last day.

I watched one show from the front of house today, it was one you could afford to miss. The clothes were fine, nice even - floaty dresses in aqua-esque printed silks - but it was the finale that killed it.

If you look at shows like Prada, Gucci or Burberry, the designers come out at the end for a split second then run off again as quickly as possible.

Few designers can get away with walking the entire catwalk - John Galliano is the only one that I can think of - he can strut a 100 metre long runway, pull his signature pose a few times and have the crowd screaming for more.

Then there are the gimmicks.

I like my fashion shows short and sharp - models walking down the catwalk, posing once, then walking back off.

Call me conservative, but for me there's nothing worse than models walking up and down the catwalk twice, or three models walking at once, or complicated formations where nobody quite knows what's going on. You see it a lot with student designers - and it's always a gigantic cringe fest.

The finale of this show included a full runway walk by the designer and a gimmick - girls lining up at 10 metre intervals all the way along the catwalk.

Oh, and did I mention the flowers? Not one bouquet, not even two, but three gigantic bunches of flowers the designer could hardly carry.

But topping it all off was the microphone. For some reason the poor woman had decided to thank the audience audibly with the help of the venue's full PA system.

Only it didn't work. So she was walking down the runway, carrying two bunches of flowers, then a third, and speaking into a microphone that just would not make any sound.