Curiosity killed the cat. Just remember that people.

When an email landed in my inbox announcing Katherine Heigl's latest film, I was intrigued. Just where has that fiery nutcracker been lately? Who knew she was still making movies? How many years has it been? I don't know but it's been a lot.

So what cinematic masterpiece has she chosen to relaunch her feature film career?

That's when I clicked on the Unforgettable trailer (a film title that is, ironically, so generic you'll forget it instantly).

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When the love ends... madness begins.
When the love ends... madness begins.

Before we even get to the film, let's talk about Heigl's hair. It's weirdly straight. She looks like a giant living doll, which is unsettling. But not nearly as strange as what's about to come.

They're just a regular couple of gal pals enjoying a margarita.. Or are they?
They're just a regular couple of gal pals enjoying a margarita.. Or are they?

At first glance, Unforgettable looks like a fairly formulaic thriller. A teaser line appears over a pulsing synth beat. When Love Ends... Madness Begins.

We see Heigl and Rosario Dawson gas-bagging over margaritas, a couple of regular gal pals. Or are they?

A quick montage sequence reveals the pair are far from friends, in fact, Dawson is the new partner of Heigl's ex.

So far, so straight forward.

Heigl's clearly still hung up on her ex and pining for her former Stepford life. But then things get weird (or rather, weirder).

Stalky McStalkerson.
Stalky McStalkerson.

Suddenly, there's stalking, identity theft and some creepy self-pleasuring. Dawson may or may not be in witness protection. And that's before we get to the kicker - a dead body.

The question isn't so much what's happening but how did anyone agree to be in this hot mess of nonsense?

If Heigl thinks this return to the big screen is a sign Hollywood has forgiven her for diva antics, she's sadly mistaken. Girl just got trolled, hard.