Sideswipe
A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: November 28: Enjoy your new nickname

11 comments
"The Cobblers children go barefoot," quips Richard Easther on Twitter.
"The Cobblers children go barefoot," quips Richard Easther on Twitter.

Rules to live by

An American academic (who preferred anonymity) outlined the dangers of being selective towards some of what the Bible advises, writes a reader.

"But: we must be reminded that God's word is eternal " even if somewhat contradictory."

1. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

2. I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness ( Lev.15: 19-24). But how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

3. A neighbour insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. Clearly states he should be put to death - am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

4. Leviticus 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.

Many people wear reading glasses - is perfect vision necessary to pray, or is there some wiggle-room here?

5. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples - this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

6. Leviticus declares 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I play football if I wear gloves?

7. My uncle plants two different crops in the same field, and his wife wears garments made of two different kinds of thread - both are violating Leviticus 19-19. Is it really necessary that we get the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.18) Couldn't we just burn them to death like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 18)

Commonsense down the drain

"I congratulate the contractor tasked with sorting out the occasional localised flooding on the footpath in Madills Farm in Kohimarama for the Machiavellian cunning of their endeavour," writes a reader. "No, no, not for the way they put the drain in the middle of the footpath, rather than on the much lower points in the grass, and not even for placing it ever so slightly above the lowest point of that path (presumably to make sure just enough path stays wet so you can better appreciate the benefit of the drain.) The true evil genius of it was placing the grate with the slots running in the direction of travel (rather than the traditional 90 degrees) so that the small kids scootering and biking can come to jarring halt when their wheels stick in the gap. Genius."

"Family" by Hani Omar.
"Family" by Hani Omar.

In case you missed it #1: Wife of Putin's press secretary performs Holocaust-themed ice skating routine.

In case you missed it #2: ANother reason Hilary Barry is aces...A dark SOH.

Video: A kinky ad for the New Zealand Pinky bar (can you spot the members of 80s NZ band Dragon)...

Herald app users tap here for today's video.

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

- NZ Herald

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