Sideswipe
A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: May 10: Priceless lamb face

11 comments
"Saw this funny sight in Torbay," writes a reader. "A lady walking her lamb wearing a nappy into the local butcher. And she ordered lamb chops! The lamb's face is priceless." Photo / Supplied
"Saw this funny sight in Torbay," writes a reader. "A lady walking her lamb wearing a nappy into the local butcher. And she ordered lamb chops! The lamb's face is priceless." Photo / Supplied

Breaking news! Hold the front page ...

Last week my friend Jane got up to go to the toilet at 3.50am. Returning to bed she notices car headlights shining through her front door. There has been a spate of car break-ins in the area, so she peeks around the curtains to see what's going on. Sure enough there's a guy out there with a head torch on. She quickly calls 111 and tells them what's happening. "We'll send the dog squad. Stay inside and don't turn the lights on," say the police. Literally three minutes later she hears the roar of the police car down her street, then silence. Her phone rings "Hi Jane, it's Constable So-and-so here. Good news. We have apprehended the offender." "Oh that's great," says Jane somewhat relieved. "Yes," says the constable. "It was the NZ Herald delivery guy. You'll be pleased to know that the dogs didn't bite him."

Pash, cash & dash on camera

The Tap Inn bar in Billings, Montana released surveillance video of an armed robbery. It also showed two customers at the bar, lost in their make-out session during the entire crime, seemingly oblivious to danger. The robbers, perhaps impressed by the couple's passion, ignored them - even while emptying the cash register just a few feet away. (Source: Weird Universe)

Fruity clampdown

New regulations mean that live-streaming sites must monitor all their output round-the-clock to ensure nothing untoward is going on, keeping an eye out for any "erotic" banana-eating. It's not just fruit that's on their radar though, wearing stockings and suspenders while hosting a live stream is now also forbidden. The move is the authorities' latest attempt to clamp down on "inappropriate and erotic" online content. (Source: Nothing to do with Arbroath)

Promiscuous pastry, spotted in Nosh by Paul. Photo / Supplied
Promiscuous pastry, spotted in Nosh by Paul. Photo / Supplied

Ye olde poetic chat-up

Pop up Globe Sunday at matinee I,

Away from the crowd did see a woman.

The pretty brunette transfixed mine eye.

The platter it shook, her knife had fallen,

No others noticed so only four knew.

Hands on mouths squinting three silently laugh,

The three could not see me smiling at you.

Of nine hundred others none saw the gaffe.

Imagining now together a life,

Have not yet met but perhaps we could be.

And what is your name my future ex-wife,

Because that is what you could be to me.

If you did notice and me you not loathe,

Email to me and my heart I thee troth.

yourfutureexornotweshallsee@gmail.com

Video: Comfortable motorbike crash...

Good read: What is confidence? Confidence is essentially the stuff that turns our thoughts into action. This story in The Atlantic says there is a confidence gap between men and women and that to succeed, confidence is as important as competence...

Video: Trying to decide if you should stay in or leave a relationship? This could be helpful.

Herald app users tap here for today's video.

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

- NZ Herald

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