Actor/assassin John Wilkes Booth might have killed Abraham Lincoln because he earned bad reviews but - spoiler alert! - our national leaders won't get shot because of what you're reading now.
Silo Theatre has once again put on a stylish, dark and enthralling musical - following up 2008's Threepenny Opera, they put the sass into Assassins.
The designers have paid attention to every detail so that the vaudeville atmosphere is all-encompassing even before the show proper begins.
Grant Winterburn and his first-rate band warm up as people enter the Concert Chamber, and an enormous shabby stars-and-stripes circus tent envelops the audience's cabaret tables. John Verryt's fabulous ratty tatty set boasts a fairground shooting gallery of presidential cut-outs (most of them recognisable).
The Stephen Sondheim show purports to explain three killers and six would-be killers of American presidents over 120-odd years - their motives range from high ideals to high hopes of gaining fame or sex appeal.
The John Weidman book is slightly flawed - it harangues once or twice, and both the women, Sara Jane Moore and Lynette Fromme, are falsely portrayed as dizzy airheads who knew each other; in fact, as the programme acknowledges, Moore was "complex and dangerous".
But overall, the show is clever and funny, full of gunshots and sardonic quips: "Don't be scared - you won't prevail" goes the opening number. The "American" Dream of hard work guaranteeing success - prevalent in Godzone too - betrays many.
Directed by Oliver Driver, the ensemble are lively, well-paced and well-rehearsed; they make the technically complex show with inventive props look easy.
Mitchell Butel - playing Booth - was worth importing from Australia: he is impressively precise with a beautiful Southern drawl and snappy dance moves - all "fancy silks" and moustachio'd red lips. The old character hands also have a ball: Cameron Rhodes hams it up outrageously in his grimy Santa suit.
As the Balladeer, tall newcomer Gareth Williams channels Burt Bacharach in a white suit flashing white teeth before magically transforming into a convincing, stooped Lee Harvey Oswald. Bronwyn Bradley as Moore is an entertaining scatterbrain in a leisure suit and blue eyeshadow.
Commendably, adult tickets are $25-$55. These killings are a steal.
What: Assassins.
Where: Concert Chamber, Auckland Town Hall.
When: Until August 14.
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