Open, honest talk about sex and sexuality is better for all, writes Katie Fitzpatrick.
We need to face facts. Many young people in New Zealand are sexually active. Not as many, however, as you may think. The latest University of Auckland (2007) survey of over 9000 youth indicates that, by the time they leave school, only about half of New Zealand teens have had sex. The same survey indicates that at age 13, fewer than 10 per cent of young people are sexually active. Perhaps the sexual activity of our youth is not, after all, a cause for panic.
For parents, scaremongering about teen sex might lead you to believe that sexuality education is a bad thing. I suggest, however, that more sexuality education, not less, is what we need to ensure the safety and wellbeing of our youth. I differentiate here between sex education and sexuality education.
While I advocate for both, sex education tends to be limited to body parts and the mechanics of intercourse, pregnancy and childbirth.
Sexuality education includes the complexities of human relationships, how to deal with pressure, how to think of one's own body and feelings, and how to critique the myriad media messages about sex, gender and relationships.
Most parents, I think, would agree that young people need information, honesty and support to navigate their teen years.
Why would we deny them knowledge about sexuality, especially when the consequences (teen pregnancy, rape) are such a high risk? It is certainly time we moved on from 19th century attitudes and started to discuss sex and sexuality openly with young people, both inside and outside schools.
It's really not that scary, especially when you consider that the more youth know about sexuality, the more empowered they tend to be and the better decisions they are likely to make about their lives and relationships.
Our current school curriculum expects teenagers to think critically, reflect on decisions, have advanced problem-solving and communication skills, and to plan ahead and utilise information. Why should these skills be excluded from intimate relationships?
Today's youth have access to vast amounts of information on the internet and via social media. Inevitably, these sites contain misinformation, pornography and gossip in addition to useful anatomical and psychological knowledge. Quality sexuality education at school can enable youth to critically evaluate and question these sources of information. Why would we exclude this process from contemporary schools unless we want our education system to be distanced from social reality and the worlds that our youth inhabit?
Crucially, quality sexuality education helps young people to think about, discuss and learn about intimate relationships, sexual behaviours and decisions before they are likely to face them, not after.
So, while parents might think it's too early to teach 11- and 12-year-olds about intercourse and condoms, at that age many youth are already curious about their bodies and the adult world. They have already learnt a great deal from their friends, TV and the internet.
Not all of what they have learned is either true or helpful. Many early teens are confused and embarrassed, their bodies are developing, they are surrounded by sexual messages, and they don't know who to talk to about it.
Better yet, many intermediate-aged youth are willing to discuss such issues with their parents and caregivers and such discussions result in better, closer relationships in later teen years. The more parents and teachers talk about sexuality openly with young people, the more likely they are to open up to us when they are faced with a difficult decision or are feeling pressured.
Recent audits by the Education Review Office suggest sexuality education is actually not given adequate time or resourcing in schools and international research suggests that the more educated young people are, the more likely they are to delay their first sexual intercourse. This makes sense.
If young people feel supported, informed and accepted, they will be free to explore the world of intimate relationships at their own pace and with full knowledge.
Surely this is better than finding out about sex in the risky (but common) environment of a drink-fuelled teenage party.
* Dr Katie Fitzpatrick is a research fellow in Critical Studies in Education at the University of Auckland.