Jenny Corry says many children defend the parents who abuse them. Photo / Richard Robinson
The Herald is running a series of articles on child abuse and highlighting charities working to end it. See the bottom of this page for today's charity.
Of the thousands of children Barnardos works with who have been abused or seen abuse, about half defend the person responsible for the abuse.
"It's because they love them - that's their parent," said northern region spokeswoman Jenny Corry.
"They are the most difficult to shift in terms
of their thinking."
The other half will withdraw from conversations, afraid that if they speak out they will break up their family and be blamed for it.
These are some of the observations Mrs Corry has made from Barnardos' Footsteps to Feeling Safe programme, which teaches children how to escape abusive situations.
They are taught to establish a "safe place" such as another family members' or neighbours' house.
They are taught how to phone 111 and their "safe person" comes to a session.
Creative activities and discussions help the children make sense of the events and rebuild self-esteem.
"We can do it in an individual or group situation," Mrs Corry said.
"We find that with a group it demystifies the abuse. Kids think 'Crikey, there's someone else like me'. They talk to and learn from one another."
The programme, which helped 228 youngsters aged 5 to 14 this year, has worked wonders, Mrs Corry said.
But the $1200 individual course cost is paid by the Ministry of Justice only if the child's parent has taken out a protection order against the abuser.
"A lot of mums want the help for their kids but they're not willing to get a protection order against their partner," she said.
Barnardos would like to be able to help children who do not qualify for the ministry funding, and wants to take a similar abuse prevention programme through schools. But it can only rely on donations to do so.
Some of its $46 million expenses for the year to June came from the Ministry of Education, Child, Youth and Family and parent fees. But $5 million was from fundraising.
Another programme which relies on donations is the Child Contact Service, in which a social worker supervises visits between a child and the usually abusive parent who doesn't live with them. About 1350 families used this service in the year to June.
Barnardos also has Parent Helpline, a telephone service for parents concerned about child abuse or having problems controlling their children.
And under its Family Support Service, social workers visit homes where abuse may be prevalent to work with families, teaching parenting skills, household management, budgeting and how to use community resources.
About 2680 families used this service in the year to June.
Barnardos was a leading advocate of the repeal of Section 59 of the Crimes Act 1961, which provided a defence for any parent charged with assault of their child. The act was amended in June last year.
* You can support abused children who come through Barnardos by sending a cheque to PO Box 6434, Marion Square, Wellington 6141 or donate using your credit card at or by calling 0800 00 54 37.
