In the early 90s, when much money was being made on damaged imports, dodgy importers sent dodgy panelbeaters overseas to repair the worst of the cars. The panelbeaters, who worked in leased buildings, were called morticians because they prepared "deceased" vehicles for a new life in New Zealand. One example of a mortician's work was a late-model Mitsubishi Pajero which landed on the Wellington wharf. It had been written off in Japan after being rolled. The squashed roof was cut off and a new one welded on. But instead of following industry standards and reattaching the seatbelts to reinforced points, the mortician simply screwed them to the door pillars. A vehicle inspector spotted the negligent job and the Pajero was impounded. The inspector said the energy generated in an emergency stop would have thrown front occupants through the windscreen - seatbelts and all. Another example was an imported Suzuki hatchback from Japan, bought by a Wanganui pensioner who said it was "funny" to drive. An inspection revealed it had once been two cars. There are thousands of other examples out there in long white cloud cuckoo land. Subaru boss Wally Dumper is right: there is a desperate need for tighter border controls governing the flow of imported vehicles.
Poor man's Porsche
From the, "If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is" department. The case of four Auckland men clobbered by the wallopers for dealing in imported rebuilt Subarus brings to mind the Christchurch man who found the price of a privately imported, low-mileage Porsche 944 too good to resist. So he bought it. Things soon started to go wrong: the steering became heavier, the indicator lights didn't work, and so on. He phoned Porsche in Auckland and they faxed the details to Germany. The Germans faxed back: Engine and chassis numbers belong to Porsche 944 written off by insurance company after motorway accident in Kent, England, October 1994.
Mission control
Toyota Australia will spend $250 million to build next year's Camry. The company is already putting the finishing touches to the car's four-cylinder engine, a 2.4-litre powerplant which meets tough European emission standards. Toyota's Altona assembly plant near Melbourne exported 45,500 of its 100,000 Camrys last year, which is 49 per cent of production. This year it expects to export more than 49,000.
Safe and sound
Volvo has been winning safety awards since it put three-point seatbelts in its cars in the late 1950s. Now it has won another gong, this time the Prince Michael International Road Safety Award for its crash-testing centre in Gothenburg. Volvo has won six Prince Michael awards, including those for its seatbelt pretensioner in 1989, its integrated child booster-cushion in 1990, its side-impact protection system (SIPS) in 1994 and its inflatable curtain (a roofline airbag) in 1998.
Action stations
The whisper in Holden circles is that its board of directors in Melbourne has approved a $120 million project to build a 4WD Commodore stationwagon for 2003. Although Holden and Ford are already working on off-road Commodore and Falcon wagons, this is the first we've heard of one being signed off. Ford Australia is apparently still waiting for approval from Detroit. Both models will have a Subaru Outback look about them, with front-end treatment, more ground clearance and composite body cladding. The Commodore wagon will come with a low-range crawler gear, but Ford will use more of a soft-road setup without the low-range option. A stepless CVT transmission is being talked about. Both rival wagons will be powered by V6 and V8 engines. The 4WD Falcon - codenamed E265, but called the Raptor - will be higher than the present wagon.
We are the world
* A Brisbane BMW dealer showed off this year's models at a bash for 400 people in a Queensland park. Some guests looked at the cars, others went for a test drive. But things became messy when one guest drove a 3-Series convertible into an ornamental lake. The car will be rebuilt - so, no doubt, will the driver's ego.
Life after death
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