COMMENT: A 100 per cent accurate guide to your year in the first of a two-part horoscope.

COMMENT: Steve Braunias looks ahead to the year in satire.

COMMENT: Steve Braunias sums up the year in Christmas song.

COMMENT: Isn't Xmas just great!!!!

COMMENT: "Well, team," I said to caucus this morning, "Merry Christmas!"

COMMENT: "Pinetree" Jones, the answer to all our Christmas present woes ...

COMMENT: I lie awake most nights and worry about the careless spending of taxpayers money.

COMMENT: American President's week goes from bad to worse.

COMMENT: It's as though the walls are closing in on the Minister of Immigration.

Here I sit plotting my next move ... er, here I sit plotting my next move ...

Harry and Meghan enjoyed the final day of their tour in our most hospitable city, Rotorua.

Our close personal friends continued their working holiday of our green and puggy land.

Our new friends Prince Harry and his expanding wife continued their working holiday in NZ.

Steve Braunias joined the royal watchers in the crowd in Wellington yesterday.

COMMENT: Judith Collins stayed just two steps behind Simon Bridges this week.

COMMENT: The saga of rogue MP has this week transfixed the nation.

COMMENT: Political commentator Chris Trotter said that I have "the smell of death".

I banked my compo cheque of $107,500 from the government without ever starting work

Steve Braunias asked his friend Shayne Carter to teach him how to drive.

COMMENT: It's a dark day for NZ, for men, for women, for children.

COMMENT: So long as I don't appear in Secret Diary for third week in a row, I'll be happy.

COMMENT: House is a bit of a mess but I pledge to have it clean by the end of the week.

COMMENT: Am I the Prime Minister of Australia? What is Australia?

COMMENT: We ran out of milk this morning so I called the Crown limousine.

COMMENT: Judith Collins and Jan Thomas put reputations at stake this week.

COMMENT: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of my term as Acting PM.

COMMENT: It's great to finally come across a country that stands up for whites.

Steve Braunias continues his series on preparing for Doomsday with a visit to Queenstown.

COMMENT: They liked me in the UK but they loved me in Helsinki.

COMMENT: It's amazing how quickly people have responded to the Free Speech Coalition.

COMMENT: The meat-free burger offered by Air NZ sends a message to world NZ is rudderless.

COMMENT: Today marks a historic occasion in the affairs of this great country.

COMMENT: Trump has offered his congratulations to Jacinda and Justin ...

COMMENT: Kim was very open, very honourable, very smart, very worthy, very talented.

COMMENT: Monday morning caucus. I sat down next to Jacinda, and examined her.

COMMENT: Thousands of homes were needlessly tested for meth at the cost of millions.

COMMENT: "Nah, stop the bus. I'm leaving," I told the driver.

It's the royal wedding ... but Harry, Meghan, Charles and even the Queen have a problem

It's NZ Music Month and former disc jockey Jacinda has picked her faves ... or has she?

A shadowy figure said: "You might be the rumour I'm looking for."

I'm chilled, laidback, likeable ... your affable First Bloke, but I don't brag about it

COMMENT: I'm the victim here. Intolerant people are hating on me.

COMMENT: Let's take a look at the climate in New Zealand.

COMMENT: PM is absolutely right when she says it will cost motorists next to nothing.

Russian spies hiding out at Parliament ... and nobody knows

Flew to Auckland and met Prime Minister Jasmine Ardern - 'I hear you're expecting a baby'

Golf and exclusive dinners. John Key, Jasmine Ardern and reflections.

COMMENT: A call came through from the Secretary of State. I said, "How are you, Rex?"

COMMENT: I left Parliament for the last time. I didn't look back.

Simon Bridges raises the golden cup to his mouth ... but what exactly is he drinking?

COMMENT: I woke up super-amped and ready to rock.

'Hard-working New Zealanders have had a gutsful of cyclones'

COMMENT: Oh hello! Fancy seeing my name in my own Secret Diary!

COMMENT: The Secret Diary is on holiday for two weeks. It may, or may not, be back.

COMMENT: Steve Braunias provides a 100% accurate forecast for your year ahead.

COMMENT: Steve Braunias provides a 100 per cent accurate horoscope guide to your year.

To be honest I approached another year of satirical intent with a heavy heart.

COMMENT: Let me perfectly clear about something – for once! Let me just say this.

COMMENT: I was ironing my socks this afternoon when I noticed a loose thread at the toe.

COMMENT: Steve Braunias reveals who's giving what to whom this Christmas.

COMMENT: I wish Prince Harry and Meghan Markle every happiness.

COMMENT: What was the broadcaster thinking as he interviewed PM Jacinda Ardern this week?

Married at First Sight: What were they thinking?

Jacinda may be unequivocal, but for Gareth it's a sacking offence

Today's Secret Diary features bill English, Paula bennett and Jian Yang.

COMMENT: The smell of petrol seems pretty strong.

COMMENT: It would be a very bad look if I tried crawling out of the hole.

COMMENT: Come with me now, bold traveller, on a descent into a great unknown land.

COMMENT: What have I been eating on the campaign trail? Yeah, good question.

COMMENT: A pig walks into a bar and asks for some lipstick.

COMMENT: "Someone's been asking questions about you," said Turnbull.

COMMENT: Hiya. What?!? Are you sure it was Todd?

COMMENT: I said to Jacinda on Monday night, "I'm tired." She said, "You don't look tired."

COMMENT: I asked the Kiwi real estate guy what was going on politically in New Zealand.

The Secret Diary of Todd Barclay

COMMENT: I said, "Before we begin, has anyone seen Todd?" No one had.

Steve Hansen and Warren Gatland move on to the final game.