Neil Volzke: Stratford coup unlikely

By Ilona Hanne

As news of a coup in Whangamomona reached Stratford, the Stratford Press spoke to District Mayor Neil Volzke, who, with his tongue firmly in his cheek, says he wants to ensure that Stratford's relationship with the Whangamomona president, Murt Kennard, "remains cordial and that no hostile invasions are imminent".

Talking of the dramatic coup that took place just two hours after the January 26 elections, which saw the newly elected president, known only as "The Czech", ousted in a bloodless coup following allegations of vote rigging, Neil says that "although politically unstable, Whanga remains a good neighbour in the best tradition".

On the subject of this alleged vote rigging that led to the speedy ousting of "The Czech" just hours after the election and his replacement by former president Murt Kennard, Neil says that "Whanga elections are always subject to allegations of bribery, corruption and vote rigging, but no evidence has ever been found and nothing has ever been proven. It is electioneering the Whanga way."

Neil is quick to dismiss any concerns that Stratford could face similar issues, pointing out that "Stratford elections are very above board and free of corruption".

Asked if he has any words of advice for Murt as he returns to office, Neil says that while he doesn't, he is sure that Murt may have some for him. As for the possibility of "The Czech" seeking political asylum in Stratford, Neil says this would require United Nations endorsement before it could be considered as "there are political risks with harbouring refugees and asylum seekers".

In his final words on the subject, Neil terms Murt a "ruthless leader", and predicts that the Republic of Whangamomona is "set to play a power broker's role in years to come".

- Stratford Press

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